We’re sitting in the car. We’ve been sitting in the car for four hours, and the toddler is getting quite bored of this situation.

We are playing a version of I spy that fits an almost-two-year-old understanding of how things work, where one person names things and then the other people shout when they see that thing. Usually things they know are going to be coming up on this kind of road trip. Like…

First person to spot a yellow sign?

“LELLOSYNE!”

Excellent! Now, what about a red car? First one to see a red car…

“REDCAR!”

Ok, that was possibly too easy. You think of one?

“Pupple syne!”

There are no purple signs, Doozer. There are lots of different colours of road signs, but not… I mean, there haven’t been any purple signs, have there, so we’ll be waiting an awfully long time if you really only want to see a… actually thats not a bad idea. Ok! Even though there are no such things as purple roadsigns, the first person to spot a purple sign will ge…

We round another corner in the forest. Ahead, suddenly, tucked into a small town on the way up the mountain, is a large, purple sign.

“Pupplesyne!” shouts the toddler, contentedly.

My beloved and I, sitting in the front, look at each other, then back at the sign.

PSYCHIC, says the sign, in big black letters on a rich purple background.

An ominous fanfare fills the car.

Well, no, it doesn’t, but it would have been cool if it did.

I should carry around an ominious fanfare band for precisely this kind of situation.