21 things I have learnt in the last four days

  1. my name is anna (mi chiamo anna)
  2. My health is good, thank you for asking.
  3. Your name is Daniella, and you live in Sienna
  4. It is of great importance to me that my hotel room is en-suite.
  5. These above. And several other basic Italian phrases.You see, I’ve had the chance to start using the Learn Italian! kit I got for Christmas. According to the blurb at the beginning of the CD, I should use the CD whenever possible, while relaxing, driving, or gardening. So you can expect me to be adding the Learn to Drive!, the Do Gardening and the Learn to Relax. I Said Relax! CD’s on my Amazon wishlist. Otherwise I don’t know how I’m going to be able to practice.
  6. I like extremely rural areas, but would like them more if they had some kind of public transport system. Underground Stations for example. That would be great. Then they’d be miles and miles from anywhere, and therefore retain that ‘rural’ thing, but not be so much of a pain in the arse to get to. Christ, I really am a city girl. What am I doing here?
  7. I have the best bladder control of anyone I know.
  8. My hair looks at its best the third and fourth day after washing. After that it looks like a shrink-wrapped cycle helmet.
  9. Bunnies nauseate me
  10. Or rather, specifically, bunnies when assuming the form of road-kill, nauseate me.
  11. More specifically still, Bunnies when assuming the form of road-kill and firmly under my left boot, nauseate me.
  12. Whacking seven shades of shit out of a shed is good for the soul. Assuming that that shed needs whacking. If you’re just whacking a perfectly good shed, that probably counts as bad karma. Especially if it’s not your shed.
  13. I still don’t like kidney beans. I’ve checked, and they’re still horrible.
  14. Kicking puppies is frowned upon in polite society. I didn’t learn this through experience, please understand, just through conversation. Honestly.
    No, really.
  15. It tuns out it wasn’t paranoia after all, the dental community of Britain really are united in a pact to make me cry.
  16. Before the third day after washing, my hair looks like cushion stuffing. Shiny Pantene cushion stuffing, but cushion stuffing all the same.
  17. Although I’m very fond of my married friends, I have finally stopped wanting to be part of a couple. This is odd news, in these parts. “Anna’s very happy to be single (thankyouverymuch)”. It must be a phase of the moon. Or of the Earth. Or of me.
  18. little sheep are cute. I didn’t learn this, I just forgot. Almost enough to make me turn vegetarian. Well, to make me stop eating lamb anyway. For the time being. Until later, when it’ll be alright again.
  19. One should never get too excited about the weather, in case it goes away again.
  20. My job is worth nothing in the real world, CV-wise. This week I want to work in radio, and have no idea how to pursue it.
  21. There is a company that produces Organic Vegan Condoms. So now we know. Vegans can give blow-jobs, after all.
  22. There are only so many TV-Sob-Movies you can watch before you want to punch someone.
  23. A single kidney bean catapulted from a spoon flies further than fifteen kidney beans catapulted together from the same spoon. Even when heavily coated in sauce. There wasn’t extensive research on this. Just a sample test case. We’ll keep you informed.

I learnt other stuff. Other, more interesting, stuff I can’t remember right now. But I also remember how good sleep tasted, and how good mornings smelt when you’d tasted a good sleep.

Buonanotte. A domani. Ho una gomma a terra. Scusi.