It has been almost three weeks since I posted. Please forgive my unintentional hiatus, I have been a bit preoccupied. Also, I have been learning to type one handed. This has been going well. I have also mastered the use of a baby sling, meaning that occasionally I can type TWO-handed, and actually employ pleasant things like capital letters and punctuation.
Some things I have learnt in the last three weeks include
1) How to change a nappy. I had never changed a nappy before this point. I have now changed eleventy-billion. I am pretty good at it. Baby poo looks like pesto. Its going to be a while before I can eat pesto again.
2) How to feed a baby with my very own breasticles. It is harder than I thought. We went to many hours of classes, which, I have realised in retrospect, were very high on nice and well-meaning propaganda about the health benefits and ethical correctness of breastfeeding etc etc (had I not already been convinced that breastfeeding was a good choice, perhaps this would have been helpful, but five hours of being told how brilliant something is isnt, it turns out, very helpful in *doing* that thing), and very low on practical advice. If it had been said, even once: It might be hard. It might feel very uncomfortable and you might be miserable, and it doesnt mean youre doing it wrong, its natural to have different feelings about it, but persevering will be worth it. that first week would have been a lot easier to cope with. It is going ok now, but I still feel like were making it up as we go along, Doozer and I.
3) Sleeping in two-hour chunks is not all its made out to be. If anyone has ever made it out to be anything other than rubbish. Because it is. Rubbish, I mean. However, it does make other things seem very non-rubbish, by contrast. Like sleeping in three-hour chunks. Suddenly, sleeping in three-hour chunks seems like an enormous treat. I get very excited about a three-hour sleep right now.
4) People are lovely. And very generous. Things have been arriving, since the baby. Boxes of hand-me-down clothes and random useful stuff and toys and things. People are lovely. You, in fact, if youre reading this YOU are lovely.
5) You do not need to take a baby to the registry office in order to register a birth. Because, by the magic of modern science, they just believe you when you say youve got one, even if you havent got him WITH you. Either that, or they just trust you. Whatever. We registered our son. He is now an official person. Let the oppression by The Man commence. Or something.
(Please note, we did note register him as Doozer. Much as I might have argued the case for it)
6) Muslin squares are the greatest invention in the history of the world. Simple white squares used for wiping up baby sick, impromptu baby-sheets, swaddling, catching baby sick, protecting the one corner of your clothing not already covered in baby sick from baby sick (though frankly, whats the point anymore?)
7) Daytime television is TERRIBLE. But Im still working out what to do while pinned under a feeding baby and when out of reach of my computer, so Im watching a LOT of it. I am becoming an expert. I should very much write about that.
8) Babies are alright. Or, in fact, quite good, really. Whatever the case, they are not as terrifying as I previously thought. Theyre only about half as terrifying. But then, Im pretty easily terrified, so thats not a very accurate measure.
9) Im not going to be able to write long blog posts for a while. Much as I very much want to. This ones been sitting here staring at me ever time I open my computer for a couple of weeks now. And I cant even remember half the stuff that was meant to be in it (and there was a LOT of stuff). So Im just going to have to do shorter posts for a bit while I get used to this. But I have to write *something*, because Im going a bit mad otherwise.
10) I am really enjoying this. I am very tired. I am constantly confused by the tiny dictator who has taken over my house, and why he might be shouting in my face this time. But I am very, very happy. We have somehow created a very good baby.