Hello Internet

Dear Internet.

Hello! I have been away. I mean, from you. The internet. I have not been away physically. From places. Or rather I have been away from places, but only by dint of being IN other places, which were not places I had presently been in, and had therefore been away from. I am now in those places, and away from the other ones. As, in fact, I always am (and am not). As, in fact, we all are (/arent).

I have confused myself.

Regardless, I have been in several different places, but in very few of those places – almost none, in fact – have I and you, the internet, been there at the same time, so I havent been able to be ON the internet, and IN those places concurrently. And while I have not missed the places I have been in, I have missed the places I havent currently been in, and have missed you, dear internet.

(It should be noted for the record that I have also not missed some of the places I have not been in while also not being on the internet. I have not been in Leningrad either, for example, and have not missed not being there at all. Ive never been there, in fact. I also didnt miss a number of other places Ive never been to).

So, Internet: what have I been doing, you say? Well, I have been doing quite a lot.

1) I moved continent. From the North American one to the European one, or rather to an island OFF the European one.

It was a very good move. In that, I mean, we managed it quite successfully, although the cats sort of got mislaid by an airline half way across, and My Beloved has had a cold since about the second he stepped off the plane. We are all in one piece now, though. Apart from My Beloved who is in one-piece-plus-additional-mucus. More on the kitty-drama later.

2) I grocery shopped transatlantically: One of the crowning achievements of our move – the thing that made us look more organised than anything else – was the fact that, several days before we flew, we ordered a supermarket delivery for the night we arrived, as well as a weekly fruit and veg delivery to start the next day. Of course, we didnt quite take into account that the shop was basically filled with things that we had missed a lot (lemon squash, many many tins of baked beans and granary bread for toast) but that we didnt have any cutlery. Or crockery. Or glassware.

For the first two days (until our stuff arrived in a storage unit) we shared a mug with SuperMario on it that someone had left in our new (quite temporary) flat.

3) I unpacked a box of belongings that I packed up more than two years ago: And at this point realised how catastrophically bad we were at packing back then. I mean, weve both moved enough – pretty much annually, as previously discussed – but neither of us had the time or the brainpower to think through how you need to pack differently when putting things in storage for a long time/cutting back on your amount of stuff full stop. Thus, unpacking was marked with a lot of groaning, and shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?!, or at least it was until we found out how damp quite a lot of it was, at which point it just became about what we didnt have to throw away. Ugh.

4) I signed up for a boot camp: Yes, in order to get through the first month or so of dark mornings, disorientation and probable sads, I signed up and paid for a bootcamp, knowing that this would mean I would have to get up, no excuses. And I have, because I am stubborn like that. Its four mornings a week, for four weeks, come rain, come wind, come more rain, torrential rain, gale-force winds and sometimes, SOMETIMES, chilly chilly sunshine, Ive been down on the seafront, dressed like a ginormous condom, running, skipping, doing press-ups and kettlebells and boxing and all of that kind of shenanigan. Im really, really enjoying it too. Weirdly.

5) I had a nice time reintegrating myself with some of Brighton society, and am looking forward to seeing lots of people in The London and Other as well: Though Im not sure when, but at least now we have you back, dear, lovely internet, I can go about organising things. I am ridiculously dependent on you, you know.

6) I did some work! Just in case you thought I was mainly larking about on beaches in the rain and sitting under a slanket with my cats, staring at piles of books that have to be reshelved, I have ALSO been doing work, honest (while under a slanket, with cats, etc etc)(everyone has come across the blanket with arms concept, yes? If I hadnt have had one, Id have run back to California by now, to be honest)

What have YOU been doing for the last two weeks while I have been internetless please, dear internet? And dear lovely lovely people of the internet?