It is traditional, at this time of year, to make a certain set of decisions about things one plans to do – or not do – over the next year.
They should, or so tradition demands, be great, life-affecting, game-changing decisions that will, for great swathes of people, prove completely and utterly impossible to live up to.
Im thinking I shouldnt make those kinds of promises. I have no idea if Im going to be able to commit myself fully to my to-do list for the day, let alone anything above and beyond that. So I should make resolutions that are relatively easy to keep to, or that I have already done, or that I really really HAVE to do.
MY NEW YEARSISH KIND-OF-RESOLUTIONS
1) Having never seen The Blair Witch Project, I resolve to continue never having seen it until the end of the year.
2) I will endeavour to do the same with Paranormal Activity. Those films would scare me eight ways to Sunday.
3) I resolve to have had breakfast this morning. (TICK!)
4) If put in a situation where there is a bunny, its neck in a guillotine, and a button, and I am told that it is entirely within my power to kill the bunny or let the bunny live, with no repercussions – I resolve that I will not kill the bunny.
5) I will finally get that other blog, my TV blog, that Ive been meaning to finish – where I can write about stuff I like, about US TV as much as I like, and in whatever manner I please – up and running, and live. And soon.
6) I will learn to chew oyster.
7) When people send me nice emails or say nice things, I will reply and say thank you, and also file them somewhere so I can learn to value them above negative feedback.
8) I will work out how to use this computer properly (the one that I have had for six months).
9) I will work out which food it is that I am allergic to and which gives me a funny hot nose after eating.
10) The word accrual will never pass my lips.
11) Also the word spatula. Im not sure how that one will go, to be honest, but Im willing to try really hard at this, it is a New Years resolution after all.
12) I will try and work out what LinkedIn is for, and how it can be used to my advantage.
13) I will post on little red boat. A lot. And not care about what it is for.
14) And not just stick everything on twitter.
15) Though I might stick the fact Ive done a new post on twitter, because lets face it, everyone else does.
16) At least once a week, I will let someone I love know that I love them and am thinking of them, even if that just means replying to an email.
18) No, seriously, that wasnt a resolution, theres just a bear behind you. Fucking RUN. Run for your life!
19) Only kidding you on, it was a resolution really. Im just going to do more running (away from bears)(and possibly other).
20) Not leave the hair dye on too long next time I dye my hair. Seriously. This is meant to be an attractive mid-brown, is it? No it isnt. I look like a goth.
21) I will stop writing resolutions now (TICK!)
What is this I see?
Regular lovely commenter scary azeri has just left a comment in the last post, pointing out that in Russia and other places, it is common practice to celebrate Old New Year, with Old New Years Eve on the 13th of January, and Old New Year Itself on the 14th.
Therefore, all the things I planned to do as projects for the new year – take daily pictures, do regular posts, and all those things – but couldnt commit to on the real New Years Day because I was too hungover to do anything but watch TV marathons and eat bacon sandwiches, I CAN do after all.
You hear that, everyone! Theres another New Years Eve!
I resolve to celebrate that one, as well. In fact, this year, I resolve to wait, Ill do this properly:
22) I will make it my mission to celebrate every national, religious, cultural, regional that is useful, attractive or particularly fun-sounding. I will let you know about them in advance if I remember, and document them if they are particularly good fun.