SAMMICHES!

Sandwiches, right: are brilliant. That is all.

I have always said that about sandwiches, also other people have said it, so its not news, exactly – I just thought I should mention it again.

Sandwiches. Are. BRILLIANT.

It is always true, yes, but I remembered that once more this week when, for the first time ever, we had a turkey for Christmas dinner. Really, neither of our families had been that keen on it growing up, but since we were here and suddenly hankering for ALL THE TRIMMINGS and no mistake (ask the poor dear beloved members of my family who had come for what they might have thought was going to have a crazy alternative Californian christmas and then ended up with turkey, mince pies, mulled wine, yorkshire puddings, brandy butter and big round christmas bloody pudding. Theyre lucky they didnt get woken up at 5.00am so they could be up, washed, breakfasted and upstanding for the Queens speech, but no, we were homesick, not utterly changed. Or mental).

So we had a Turkey, and the smallest one we could possibly find was about 16lb. Which, as far as I understand it, is about the weight of two human roasting-babies. So we managed to eat half a breast each for Christmas lunch itself – or tried to, mostly failing – and then had to think of things to do with the rest of the turkey.

And I know there are endless things to do with leftovers; curries, soups, pies and all sorts but no. Sandwiches, for me, are like the pinnacle of all foods. Theyre endlessly interesting, highly personal and never the same twice. Awesome. Yes, I did just say awesome. Im not being Californian, Im just saying it about sandwiches, you see, because Sandwiches. Are. Awesome.

Its like a magical chemical formula an with an infinite number of components or whatever you have in chemistry. An infinite bunch of chems. You start off with one base element – bread – but many many different kinds of bread or wraps or flatbread or any of those things – and then a main ingredient (lets say, for arguments sake, Turkey) and then build from there. And its funny, because I was just thinking about writing a post about how great sandwiches are (theyre GREAT) and then I noticed that Clare was thinking exactly the same thing.

Except, Clare was extolling the virtues of the simple sandwich, the eat with one hand no faffying, non-fancy sandwich. Now, while those kind of sandwiches have their place, and I fully support her right to, in turn, support them – I cannot agree. The sandwich should take as many different flavours as the eatee can bear, be as wide as the hands can hold and the mouth can stretch (though not bigger than that, thats just annoying, but thats why ultimate control for the size of the sandwich must rest in the hands of the eater) and as complex as any favourite meal. Just in a neater package and not needing a knife and fork.

Anyway. This weeks discovery (to me) was the discovery of adding left over stuffing to turkey/ham/WHATEVER the sandwich. I wouldnt have thought it would work, being mainly made of bread, and this being a bread-in-bread sandwich and therefore a bit weird. But it does. So Turkey, stuffing, lettuce, cranberry sauce, smear of mayonnaise, vegemite, a little peanut butter maybe, and some crisps, All good! Turkey, stuffing, mayonnaise, lettuce, bunch-a-random-whatevers-in-the-fridge, lime pickle, marmite and, of course, some crisps. Yes. Yes yes yes.

Maybe that doesnt sound good to you. Maybe it does. But thats the thing, a sandwich is the open licence to please yourself. Offer people a table spread with whatever youve got and two slices of bread, and maybe a toaster if theyre that way inclined (I am, personally, but do not judge)? BINGO. You have a meal! And you have a meal that everyone will like because without much hassle it was made Just For Them.

And by them. I never let anyone make my sandwiches. I know it may be considered rude to say, if someone offers to make you one No thank you! Though I might make my own in a minute. Is that rude? It probably is – but whats the point of them wasting time doing something that is so tailored to individual taste that you wont like it quite as much as if you had made it yourself in the first place? Seriously?

And thats why – if Im ever at your house, and you offer to make you a sandwich, and then I say no, but look a bit sad like Id secretly LIKE a sandwich but would rather you not make me one I kind of like but dont like as much as I would like one I made myself, because then you would ask me how my sandwich was and I might say yes very nice but Id secretly be lying a little bit and thinking how much better it would be with some vegemite, some lime pickle or – obviously – some crisps in it – If that happens, and it may, please dont take offence. Its only because I like you so much (and Im very very particular, as we all should be – thats the point of sandwiches). So forgive me – then hand me the butter knife.

Anyway, so Ive got rather rambly on the subject because Im meant to be doing something else and cant quite remember what and so just kept typing instead.

So.

Um.

In summary:
Sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh dear me yes.