That grunting noise was representative of how much I love you, baby

The other thing I would like to mention about my hotel room is the fact that there is a phone by the bed, one by the sofa (yes, yes, big room, whatever) too, and I find this the most disturbing: a phone right next to the toilet.

Is talking on the bog something that is socially acceptable?

Do people ACTUALLY hold conversations with their nearest and dearest or (ohmygod) work while having a poo? Because it wasnt place next to the bath, not next to the sink: It was right next to the toilet, at sitting-down level, right where it could be used for only that and nothing else.

I. Am. Disgusted.

Seriously, does this open the door to the idea that I might have spoken to one of my associates or colleagues while they were in poo-baby labour? Might that intense concentration I heard in their voice not have been about the idea I was proposing after all?! Shocking! Vile!

Please, someone, tell me, WHY would you have a phone in there? Its in case youre prolapsing and need to call an ambulance, right? Because you wouldnt countenance talking to anyone you LIKED while laying a brown egg, would you? REALLY?