This has been my reaction to almost every day this week (though that specific one was my reaction to Wednesday, because it would have been a ridiculous reaction to have to any other day that wasnt Wednesday, wouldnt it?) because, like so much pre-masticated banana might, time is slipping through my fingers. In a really unpleasant way.

I have been meaning to update – I know thats a common cry, Ive already seen four blog posts on my RSS feeder in the last couple of days that say Im really busy, but!; are we all getting too busy for this? I hope not. Id simply DIE, darlings – but I have been spending most of my time concentrating on developing my to-do list, and my sense of panic, which are two large and fruitful things without which I cannot imagine life.

Well, I can: it would be much calmer, but less organised.

However, in the days before I was self-employed it was somehow less fraught. There were things to do, of course, but there was always a point at which I had to go: Right, thats it, Im leaving and going on holiday and some people will do this stuff while I am gone – but now when Im going away it just all builds up to this huge lump of stuff – this cloud of things to do that MUST GET DONE or they wont get done at all! and I can see the end date when they must get done BY, but I cant actually see beyond it.

And so, so often recently, I have managed to do the jobs on my list and then reached the happy event they were supposed to be clearing the way for and just sat there in some air of shock and confusion, thinking Um. what now? Happened with my last

Thats how I know that this time tomorrow Ill be sitting on a plane finally reading about some of the lovely places well be going on our first proper long holiday in Quite A Long Time (18 months? Well, it feels long).

Ill try and update while I am there, for I will take little-mini-Marvin with me (medium-marvin is too heavy, and sadly the big, original-Marvin pooter died a horrible, horrible death. Seriously, he blew up) but I wont do LOTS of writing, as that would be a bit like work, and because I have important and joyful events to go to and lots and lots of city-walking to do. YAY.

But I will update, I promise. Possibly more than I do when Im here, to be fair