IT IS NO LONGER MY BIRTHDAY

But thank you for all your birthday wishes, you are all very lovely.

Especially very lovely are Asta and Emrys and Heidi and Pippa and someone else whose name didnt appear on the piece of Amazon paper (but wanted to send me a laser pointer and couldnt and said smooches? who are you?) but is ALSO lovely – Elayne! It was Elayne! She is also lovely. So thank you lot specially, because sending presents to people you dont actually know but know from the internet is a special kind of wonderful.

Anyway, I had a very nice birthday, and now I should really go to the gym to atone for it.

And then have a haircut. A haircut with a hairdresser who already knows Im going to be one of those really clueless clients by the following exchange.

Oh, no, hang on, I think I was told I should get some lowlights, too. Or highlights. So you might need longer for that.

Ok, thatll be fine, will you be wanting halfhead or a fullhead?

[Anna pauses to consider why she would only want half her head dying, but thinks it must be a thing]

Hello? Miss Pickard? Halfhead or fullhead?

Um. What do people normally say when you ask them that question?

Full head

Ok. I would like a fullhead please Dave.

Riiiiiiight.