Greetings from the Sleeper Train to Scotland!


Postcard from about ten days ago on a Wednesday. The above picture may or may not be a sleeper train

Dear all!Excuse the shaky typing, but we are aboard a train, and, as you can see from the 100% authentic photographic evidence above, it is very dark. And cramped. And I am a bit drunk.

See, some people mocked when I said I was going to have my last day at work followed by my leaving drinks, followed immediately by the night train to Glasgow, but to them I say Ha! I have shown YOU! Apart from My Beloved leaving his laptop in the pub, along with the charging lead for mine and other essential things he needed, it has all gone Swimmingly! So what do you say now?! And then I will ignore whatever they say next in the blissful knowledge that I have shown them, and am as right as ever.

Do you know that if you plan far enough in advance you can get these things called Bargain Berths for £19? And you get to lie down all the way up the country, which in theory is much cheaper than usual. AND you get breakfast, offered to you upon your embarkment by an efficient if somewhat surly train person. I dont know if they are less surly if you pay more for the ticket.

As it a Barrrrgan Berrrrth? They say, with disdain. Yes, you say. Brrrekfust in the morrnin. Tea, Coffee, Orange Juice. Oooh, lovely, you say. NO, they say Whuch ONE? And if you dont answer correctly they probably make you sleep in the toilet or something, which, in common with all train toilets, flushes one time out of six and has four sheets of toilet paper per jourrrney.

Anyway, its very good, because the environment smiles upon you and you get a big tick in Al Gores book of people whove been good this year, and you wake up hours and hours nearer to where you most want to be, and then youre in the islands by lunchtime, hurrah.

Weather is out there, but in the dark, so difficult to record with any degree of certainty. Glad youre not here, as its quite cramped enough with just the two of us, thanks.