Not in a woe is me kind of way, just the truth:
Life at the moment is a tightly timetabled affair. Sunday night is for setting up the things that need to be in place for the rest of the week to happen without too much stress. Monday night is research for work that must be done on Tuesday morning on the train in, and Tuesday night a certain amount has to be done to make sure that some other freelancey thing is ready to file first thing wednesday morning, having been polished on the train again. Wednesday nights train home is a limbering up session for a live-blogging thing for one of works TV blogs, and Friday nights are mostly going to be the same from now on. And thats all wedged in either side of my actual full-time job, which involves no writing at all but lots of other responsibilities and very very busyness.
Id accepted a commission for two seperate travel podcastty things, which had to be done on certain weekends, and that was good, and then I won a prize (of more at a later date) which was even more exciting, but meant that I had something sceduled in for every day for the next five weeks, and was circling dates in my diary when I might be able to have some sleep/clean the carpet on the stairs that got a bit hammered at my barbeque/buy some jeans to replace the ones that are frankly bordering on indecency/schedule some time for a big cry and a minor burn-out.
It is one reason I am not being very good at blogging. Because whenever I start, I know that I am supposed to be doing something else, and just feel bad about that until I realise that Ive been staring at a blank wordpress screen neither writing anything boatish NOR doing one of the things I should be doing, which make me feel twice as bad and beat myself up twice as hard. And then I realise I probably should have been sleeping instead. And that I havent packed yet. For something. And then something at the back of my mind niggles that Ive forgotten something, or lost something, or that someones found me out and Im going to get shouted at but I dont know who or when or about what.
Sitting in the office with my bag backed for the trip I was flying out for first thing Saturday morning, elbow deep in print outs of places I had to go and people to talk to and things and wondering if I really did have time to learn any Swedish in the next twelve hours and then
Suddenly it was cancelled. Airline strikes, something something, and because Id written off the weekend completely and cleared my mental intray because of that, I found myself staring into a completely empty three days. Free Parking. Nothing I had to do, nowhere I had to be, a free gift.
I have been mainly sleeping. And drinking. There has also been a Playstation involved.
Today I need to go out and buy a dress for an awards ceremony, but other than that, I will watch musicals, maybe. And I will do, I think, a lot of blogging.
And make some muffins.
Yay Free Parking.