At silly oclock this morning, at the end of a long strip of tarmac just outside the city of Lisbon, small flappy screens unfolded and told us things about what to do in the event of oxygen leaking out of the unfeasible metal bubble we were about to float through the air in.
After the usual safety video over, they showed perhaps the most crass piece of over-simplified pro-flying gubbins I think I have ever seen.
Id ascribe it to dreaming, but My Beloved saw it too.
It provides over 12 million jobs worldwide, is responsible for great advances in science, industry, business
Although the pictures, of course, werent of any of those things.
They were of grandmothers crying. Children running, open-armed, smiling. Lovers kissing. What looked to be cancer patients walking slowly into the arms of siblings, tears in eyes. Lovers, kissing. More grandmothers crying.
And it brings family and friends together all over the world.
And weeping grandmother laughed, toothlessly, for the camera. The voice became slightly more sheepish.
And the the environmental impact? Well its only 2% of Global carbon emissions, and most airline companies are working on trying not to make that higher.
Seriously. Why bother?
I was about to get up on my mardy-horse about it, but then the guy in front of me whapped all 15st of chairback against my knees and I forgot about environmental concerns and started concentrating more on tutting loudly, making humphing noises and trying in vain to get some sleep.
Priorities, you know.
But, just so youre aware, it has been officially stated that flying is a GOOD thing and not environmentally catastrophic in the slightest. And it MUST be true, because an airline said so.