When he climbed the stairs with a cup of the sleepy herbal tea that sends me away he found me staring in disbelieving comtempt at Sarah Michelle Gellar.
What IS this?
Feh, I disgustulated. Movie.
Is that Sarah Michelle Gellar?
Yes, I spat.
You like her, dont you? You like Buffy, dont you?
Buffy, Yes, but this? THIS!?
He looked it up. Simply Irresistible, read the IMDBumph, scanned the cast list, winced through some reviews.
Yes he agreed It sounds rubbish
Its not that. God, this is awful.
Is it that guy? Is it because its got someone from The Wire in and you dont like seeing him in something so bad?
No, its not that. God, I feel sick
What, shes a cook who makes magic food, and its a whimsical romantic comedy, and – what?! It sounds like something youd actually watch, at least when youre this tired.
And he was right, of course, he was right. In fact, I had been reaching for the remote to record the rest of the movie when I first noticed it. And a few years ago, its not something I would have noticed at all.
Yes, she was a chef. That was a Nice thing, I like cooking, and I love eating out, and it would seem to follow that I would like this film. But, standing in the kitchen of her failing restaurant, she was running her fingers through her long, thick hair, picking up raw ingredients, putting them back down, running both hands through her hair once more, going and working the till for a while, feeding the fish, then coming back to the kitchen, fingers in hair, leaning over the preparation area until you could be pretty sure all dust might have gone, reapplying her nail varnish and then rubbing her chopping board.
And then, oh I dont know, she asked her sous-chef to scratch an unreachable spot on her arse with the crab they were preparing, and then blew her nose on a lettuce.
Now I know full well that people have to be allowed creative licence, but for the Love of All that is good and holy and antibacterial, can we not be creative and wash our hands As Well?
I dont care how magic her food is. Im never fucking eating there.
(Which slightly detracts from my originally intended question – IS it any good? Should I have persevered? Because my little whimsical inner romantic says yes. Sadly, however, I think it might be too late. My tired little inner health inspector has had the damn place closed down)