Cocks

If theres one thing Ive noticed, moving from a dead-end crack alley to a normal street, its that people around here drive like fuckwits.

I live in a conservation area, where, on the side of a hill, roads are stacked up, one way roads in possibly the worlds most confusing and frustrating system, not that I would know or care, not driving in the slightest. But I can tell it confuses and upsets people, because Ive almost been run over by the confused, upset angry bastards several dozen times.

And now I get to hear them reversing all the way down my street (oh come on, who do you think youre kidding?!), revving their engine crossly at the junction, or simply speeding along.

There is a lot of speeding. An awful lot.

I have decided it is entirely by people who wish us all to believe they have enormous genitalia.

It is people saying Look! My penis is SO LARGE that it is resting on the accelerator pedal! I wish I WASNT speeding, but sorry, I cannot help it. It is not me, it is this damn PENIS, and how ENORMOUS it is.

Wankers.

If I ever mention Im thinking of learning to drive, thump me.

With your enormous penises.

Not really with your enormous penises.

Just thump me.