Pedigree Glum

And so I woke up this morning with a big black dog sitting on my face. Or whatever the phrase is.

Theyre odd, my sads. Whether theyre the SAD sads or the other ones, they can fade away for whole days, weeks, months and I can feel ok, and have ideas, and deal with them, and deal with people and stresses and etc etc etc.

Then, one morning, they just come fluttering back like an enormous cloud of swallows, swooping around me before settling, heavily, on my face. Heavily in the manner of enormous black dogs. Sick black dogs. Black dogs with nasty colds and toenails that need cutting and poor personal hygiene.

And in another day, or two, or more, they can be gone again. Sometimes it can take weeks. On a couple of occasions, they were around – heavily, on face, woofing huskily – for a little matter of months. Ach, its in the archives, should you wish to find it.

And why dont I talk about the sads every time they come and sit on me, heavily?

Is it because I am embarrassed? Or ashamed? Or unable to?

No, it is because I am so Fucking bored of them now. Thats all, really.

A lovely day, walked by the sea, had my Eggs Benedict – no, strictly Eggs Royale, but thats a topic for another day – sat and watched crashing waves, made cookies, stuck things in scrapbooks, cleaned, and all the while: dog on head.

It is a pain in the arse.

I know thats not strictly physiologically correct.

Im also aware I may not have just spelled physiologically correctly.

And Im also aware that the last sentence there was grammatically contemptible.

Please dont comment just to tell me so.

Please. Please please.

Me and my black dog head and elephant chest (did I mention there was an elephant on my chest? Well, there is) are not quite up to today. Sorry.

So yeah. Thats where we are today.

I should write something better happier before bed.

*Thinks VERY Hard*

*Asks large black dog to move around a bit as large black tail wagging in ear impedes thinking.*

*Thinks hard again. Considers turning off comments so no bugger feels tempted to feel sorry for her. Decides not to, trusting that said buggers will know well enough not to*

*Stops talking about self in third person. Wanders off.*