I was in the pub with my mate Glendon the other day and, out of nowhere, he said You know what I heard the other day?

No, obviously, I didnt.

Matt was saying that some people, right, scrunch their toilet paper! They just take their toilet paper off the roll, right, and they SCRUNCH it up into a ball in theirand, like this!

He demonstrated, with disdain (and imaginary toilet paper), then stared at me for accord. For the mutual Blimey-what-freaks! session he thought would inevitably follow. It didnt.

But Glen I squinted What do you mean? What ELSE would they do?

He told me.

Fold? FOLD? Surely thats not something outside cliched portryals of serial killers and obsessive compulsives (and obsessive compulsive serial killers).

I mean, the Smearing, surely?!

Why not go the whole hog and grab yourself a grouting trowel?