Apparently, there is a rage within Mr Angry. Thats why he called his website I Am Livid. Lets see that inner monster pour forth
1) Alright, so if eating loudly on public transport isnt the cardinal sin against society, humanity and moral decency that I claim, what IS the worst?
Well firstly, it is a sin, obviously. To think otherwise you would have to be a borderline sociopath or Jamie Oliver (these are not necessarily mutually exclusive). I do wonder sometimes if the fat tongued freak narrates all his meals, or just the ones that are on TV?
“Beauuutiful sandwich there Jules, proper pucka. That salad is tremendous, so fresh, and the ham is gorgeous, and it’s complimented brilliantly by the wholegrain mustard. Luverly Jubberly.”
“Shut up and just eat it will you.”
Though to be honest, I am not sure that I fully understand the question. Are you asking me about the worst sin against society, or the worst public-transport based sin? Obviously they might be a bit different. The worst sin against mankind could be something like genocide, getting your brother Jeb to fix an Election, or buying a copy of Back To Bedlam. But I’m not sure you’re asking that question?
So what is the worst sin against society that you can commit on a bus or train?
That is difficult, as when I am traveling in rush-hour traffic it is not unusual for me to have violent thoughts about my fellow carriage dwellers. In those increasingly frequent cases, breathing is a sin, sitting down is a sin, standing up is a sin, wearing an overcoat that is a slightly offensive shade of beige is a sin. Attempting to make small talk with me when I’m reading is a sin deserving of a very painful demise indeed.
But, probably worse than all of these, is when someone tries to read my newspaper over my shoulder.
These people are scum.
You cannot cover more than fifteen feet on the streets around any mainline train station without having some sort of free reading material thrust into your arms, so why do you need to read mine? I paid for it, you didn’t. This is essentially theft.
“It says here that the recent interest rate rise should slow the house price boom, but some experts feel it could tip the balance towards an average price drop towards the middle of 2007. What do you think?” I said looking directly at the man to my left who was reading my paper.
“Well, I saw you reading my paper, so I thought you might be interested in discussing the article I’m reading? It is OK, I have an ‘A’ Level in Economics so I’m sure I can keep up with you. What is your view?”
“I was, err, just looking at the pictures.”
He didn’t look at my paper any more after that.
- You wouldnt like him when he was angry. Well, you might, if you read I Am Livid