A Boating Holiday: Cliff Jones

Cliff Jones dont write that. He writes this. Or, more accurately, This is This.

We all have our eccentricities. I like matching things. And correctly stacked hings. And cant handle labels sticking out of clothes. Hell, everyone knows mine. Please tell us all about yours. In horrific detail.

My head makes spoonerisms very quickly, but only when they form real words. This happens without me even thinking and before I can decide consciously whether or not they make any sense.

Im not sure how or why this happens. My best guess is my head is looking matches to see if the consonants can be reversed phonetically, and the part of the brain that stores the way words sound flicks through an auditory archive very quickly to see if theres a match. Its I guess its the combination of being a writer and a musician, but for no reason, when I first thought about this post, my head went: Hey – Little Bed Wrote .

Then I got Raving Private Psion, then To Mill A Cocking Bird. But I dont come up with get Deservoir Rogs or Ratcher in the Kye, because they make no sense, and I had to think carefully to put those last two together as examples of things that wouldnt occur to me.

Once the spoonerism tap is open, names and movies that kind of worked as real words or phrases came flooding in.

If they are peoples names, they will surface only if they could be plausible, like Harris Pilton or Reann Limes, Cleric Apton, Thames Jailor or Gill Bates. But I would have to work at names like Shartin Meen or Warbara Binsor because something in my head doesnt see them as having any order or merit.

It helps that Im easily amused, and I will chuckle to myself at things like Burley Chassis, Dials Mavis or Fucks Bizz.

Like all eccentricities, I will tell myself that it just happens or its something I do with no explanation to hide the fact that yes its anal, its possible Im wired up wrong and this has no purpose to anyone.

I have friends whose names work as spoonerisms, but I dont want to say them here in order to spare them any association with me while Im sharing my oddness.

For Little Bed Wrote, Im Jiff Clones.

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