Im not very clever.
Thats not me fishing, just stating a fact.
Im pretty opionated, but Im not very clever. No, really, its fine.
It can just get a bit annoying occasionally, as I work with a lot of people who are clever. We go to the pub, and I sit there while people have long and complex conversations about Gordon Brown or the future of the internet, or mortgages. And eventually it all goes quiet and I feel like Im expected to say something that will add to the conversation and prove my worth as a companion and as a person. And what do I say? Um. Hes got a glass eye!, or The internet is good. I have a blog, you know. No, it isnt about anything important or Mortgage? I cant afford a mortgage. I havent got a house. Um. Gordon Brown has a glass eye!
I am convinced that one of these nights at the pub, someone is going to challenge me on this fact:
Anna – youre not very clever, are you?
Well that may be so – perhaps Im not very clever, my friend: but youre drunk, and in the morning, youll be sober. And Ill STILL be not very clever and oh hell, thats wrong isnt it?
My point is, I get extremely nervous when I think people expect me speak on matters of any import, because I am absolutely convinced that Ill say the wrong thing.
Luckily, the last time someone asked me to speak on a subject, it wasnt a subject of any import at all. It was the subject of me. And being a blogger, that made it a subject very close to my heart indeed. And also my navel. Obviously.
So whats my point, youre asking? Where am I actually going with this? What am I actually talking about? Whats my point? Do I HAVE a point? Its a good question. And one Im quite clearly trying to avoid.
My point is that someone (Mark Savage, a radio producer, and a very nice man) asked some award-winning, highly popular, witty, intelligent, thoroughly interesting bloggers like Annie Mole to talk about blogging for this series, and fairly randomly, asked me as well.
Later in the series, you can hear the fabulous Petite and the ever lovely, Zoe, blogging brilliance like Tom Reynolds and major a-list fare like Go Fug Yourself. No, I havent got a clue what Im doing there either. I feel like a watermelon in a bag of squirrels.
Anyway. Later in the series you can hear those very interesting people, but tomorrow (Tuesday) you can hear the transport episode. Thats right: London Underground and Little Red Boats – its tenuous, but lets go with it for now.
In case youre in any way intruiged by this point, its Radio 4 from 9.30-9.45, or if you happen to be at work at that point, you can listen again from the sidebar of this page.
There was also, at some point, a rumour that you might be able to hear the entirity of my hour-long interview on that same page, but lets wait and see. If you ever can listen to that, I warn you of this now:
For the first fifteen minutes Im clearly nervous as all hell, for twenty Im just about bearable, and for the last (tries to work out how many minutes) period of the interview, Im as cocky as a male chicken in a bath of sperm. If youve just come here from Radio 4, apologies for the chicken/jizz thing, its not usually like that round here. Its usually quite a lot worse.
I dont really know what else to say. So radio then. Um.
Gordon Browns got a glass eye?
Well, Im still too scared to listen to any of it, but you can, should you so wish, listen again to the programme or a full version of my or Annies interviews on this page (actual link to my HOUR of guff, which I recommend – may god have mercy on my navel-gazing soul – here)