Texts from the subcontinent

Or would be if I could get a signal

Heathrow fine. Didnt even have to drink any breastmilk. Queues normal. Here thre hours too early, then.

There is a Fast Lane and a slow lane. But the slow actually a Cow Lane. Cows are also slow

Too little sleep. Much travel. All women. Much talk of women things. Shoes. Wedding dresses. Handbags. Too Tired.

Best road sign: SPEED THRILLS BUT ALSO KILLS next best LANE DRIVING SANE DRIVING. I miss you.

A thought: On toothpaste, sometimes cap preferable to flip top. I think so, and so does my luggage.

I dont have the facility to deal with some of this. I dont have the resources. Nothing prepares you.

After fifty minutes we were talking about bowel movements. This is wrong.

MONKEYS!

Indian telly! I cannot sleep. I have had 7 hours sleep in three days, and I no longer know what or where I am. Luckily, there are soaps. In Hindi.

The man is scared of lifts, but he is in love with that woman with the earrings. Indian TV, YAY. Oh no! He has had a turn! He has fallen over down the stairs!

Ive bought nine more cushion covers. Buy nine cushions? I think were going to need a bigger couch.

There are heffalumps. Heffalumps Everywhere

I went swimming. It rained hard, on the surface of the pool. This was good

There are toddlers, in puddles, naked. Begging. I turn my head and look the other way. I cant look them in the eye.

OTHER MONKEYS!

Can you get episodes of K Street: Pali Hill online? I have an addiction, I think

I think I may turn into a curry.