Im on the train. This feels very weird, but yes, here I am, blogging on the train. Hello.

Hello, Im on the train.

You cant hear me, of course. You wont hear me till I figure out how to funnel the contents of this little metal hoojmaflip into the internet without spilling it everywhere.

My task today is to see how much I can write on the journey without getting led off or arsing up too much.

I am already failing miserably at this. Two minutes into the journey I unfortunately discovered that this contraption had Patience. The game.

A low period followed, one of regrettable inactivity where all my well-intentioned plans seemed doomed to failure. Luckily, we arrived at a busy station, and, eager to look like an impressive commuter type, rather than –

Fuck me was that a mouse?! You dont get mice on busy commuter trains, do you? Do you?

Oh, no, its alright, it was a Malteser.

Where was I? Ah yes.

So I was only led off for a minute, which is pretty good going for me. And l seem to be getting less shit by the second at writing on this screen with this diddy poking stick, so thats excellent news.

This is the plan, you see. Faced with between two and three hours on the train each day, I have had to come up with A Clever Plan To Stop Me From Going Out Of My Tiny Mind.


The Clever Plan Comprising Of Interesting And Creative Ways To Spend Train Time


1. Writing

If we can put aside for a moment the mild RSI I think I may have developed in the last 40 minutes alone, this is the main important part of the plan.

My time at home, my blogging time, has been cut by at least an hour by this blasted train.

This simply will not do.

The solution – show the train who is boss. Blog ON the damn train.

2. Listening

I listen to music on shuffle mode too much.

While Im not going to stop that completely (that would be awfully rash), I have decided to educate myself, and will be properly listening to albums, whole albums, beginning to end, whether I like them or not.

Well, that may not be entirely true – but damnit, Im going to try. Suggestions of albums very welcome.

3. Watching that man over there pick his nose and eat it

Granted, I cant guarantee hell be on the same train as me Every day, but my god, when he is?

How could anyone do anything BUT watch him?

Isnt that what hes doing it for?

4. Reading

As I couldnt help but notice from the weight of the boxes at the weekend, we have a lot of books.

Ive read mine, but not his. And he studied English Literature, so hes got much more impressive books than me.

But Im reckoning its at least an 80-page-a-journey trip. So, similarly, any recommendations of good commuting books are gratefully recieved

5. Looking out of the window

One of the worlds most pleasurable pastimes.

How joyful to have two hours a day devoted to it.

6. Thinking

Kind of happens concurrently with all the other stuff leading to pages being read 7 times in a row, songs being played and replayed, and being caught starlng at that man (seriously, though, hes in up to the knuckle over there – if the train jolts hell have a brain out), and also with the Patience, and

Crikey, were in Brighton. Well, there you go. This, clearly, is how much one can write, minus six system crashes and a game of patience. This bodes well..Theres room in my life for blogging AND looking out of the window. Things are on the ooh, were here.

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