The Ten Commandments of Stuff: Commandment the Fourth

See, I entirely meant to learn French, these last couple of years. Not learn, improve. I completely intended to improve my French this last year. I took classes, but, well, after a few months, I got really busy, and it was difficult to leave the office for the amount of time a class took.

So I bought some CDs, jointly, with a friend, and she took them first, and then forgot to use them, and then handed them to me, and I forgot to use them too. So, in a fit of panic, I put them on my iPod playlist.

Most often, as discussed last week, I have my iPod on shuffle.

This means that, with six CDs worth of language exercises, about one time in ten, Im suddenly confronted with a conversational technique. I do try and interact with it as best I can, I really do.

But unfortunately as best I can is not very well, as I speak absolutely no French.

You know, talking about all this stuff, Im suddenly reminded of a post from waaaaaaay back. I have absolutely no idea with whats going on with me and French. Although to be fair – and I apologise for all this linkiness, I suppose it might have something to do with this OTHER post from way back, when I went to see an Italian spirit channeling dwarf.


At the moment, the following conversation happens extremely frequently in my head, on the bus:

Womans Voice: Exercise 15: Listen to the given part of the conversation, and reply to it. Remember you can use the pause button if you need to. Try and build up to having the whole conversation all at once, without needing to use the pause button at all.

Can I just say, I never need to use the pause button at all? Like, ever? Anyway, this is how my in-head conversation goes:

Man: Babbles away in fluent French. About something.
Me: Im sorry, I have no idea what youre saying.
Man: Frenchy frenchy frenchy frenchy frenchy.
Me: Yes, again, I have to admit, Im afraid, that I have NO idea what youre talking about. Sorry. English.
Man: Augh-hee-haugh-hee-haugh.
Me: Um. Pardon. je suis desole. Je ne parlez pas Anglais. No! Hang on! Je ne um
Man: Francais Francais Francais
Me: Oh, shut up

So, finishing projects, not so good at, etc.

My point is – Im going to finish the whole Ten Commandments of Stuff thing. Just not as a run-up to my 29th birthday.

Because thats in 27 minutes.

Um. Paypal buttons over there? Um. Happy Birthday?
Happy Birthday!

Oh hang on not yet.

Look. I really will finish the project, but in my own time, because if I rattle off the other six in the next 24 minutes, they wont be funny. Yes, six. This is one, remember?

The Ten Commandments of Stuff: Commandment the FourthThou shalt finish what thou hast damn started, eejit.