You big mean bastards

Some designer magic-face-juice company- I dont know who, because I am blocking them out, because they are mean – have a billboard type advert with a huge close-up face shot of Sharon Stone at the moment.

Next to the picture, it has the words Better looking now than you were at 20!

Now that seems mean. Shes Sharon Stone. She was better looking at 20 than I am now, and of course shes better looking now, at – what is she now? 81? 83? – at about 82 than I was at 20. You dont need to point that out to me, and particularly you dont need to point that out to me on a particularly grumpsome Monday morning.

But WHY is she better looking? Because shes got lots of money, enough for a personal skincare specialist, surgeon, dermatologist, nutritionist, trainer, masseuse etc etc etc? Maybe?

And this is an advert to encourage me to buy something then, is it?

So strictly speaking, youre not only TELLING me that this woman is better looking at 84 than I have ever been or will ever be, and theres basically fuck all I can do about it, youre also encouraging me to throw more money into the pretty ladys coffers so that she can be still prettier than me when shes 112, has no original body parts to call her own and cant even remember where she put her face, let alone her face cream.

Is that right? Well, I think youre mean.

So there.

Bet youre worried now, arent you, large multi-national skincare people.

Scared by Britains 378th most powerful blogger denouncing you?

Quaking in your uggs, Ill bet.