Mo’ meme, mo’ meme

That only works if you pronounce the word meme wrong, obviously.

Having successfully resisted the dreaded meme thing for most of my blogsistence – God, I’m sorry, lets pretend that word never happened – I succumbed once the other day and now there seems to be now end to it, it’s just all meme meme meme round here. Hahahaha. Stupid word. Meme. How I love you how I love you, my dear old meme.

Sorry.

Anyway. Yclepta “tagged” me with a meme, and I like her, and also I’m busy and my brain has popped, so I’m doing it. This does not mean, however, that I like being tagged with memes. I like all of you, but I don’t generally like doing it, because I’m supposed to be practicing writing, and other snobby bollocks that make it sound like I think I’m too good for memes but not what I intended to sound like.

Oh god. I told you my brain had popped. Sorry.

Or rather, that’s a convoluted way of saying ‘I am doing an meme’.

And yes, by the way, it is ‘an meme’. For reasons of something to do with the complex root of the word.

It’s from space.

Ok. Here I provide 20 interesting random facts about me whether you give a crap or not. This may well start off as a few, but be 20 eventually.

1) I am an extraordinarily picky eater, but will eat most things in public because I don’t want people to think I’m a picky eater, because it’s a bit silly.

I’m not even that picky – there are just a lot of things I’ve never got around to eating. For example I had beetroot for the first time ever last week, and mussels for the first time in Belgium earlier this year. The mussels were fine up to a point – if I start thinking about texture too much I get nauseous – but the beetroot tasted of mud. Which is funny, because I was expecting it to taste like Borscht, which I love.

2) I don’t consider facts about myself to be very interesting. I’m just trying to think about things I haven’t mentioned yet.

3) I love Dean Martin. Sometimes I wonder about when I finally get around to having children, what sort of songs I’ll sing them as lullabies. I think probably Dean Martin songs. Although this means the poor mites will grow up liking songs from 80 years before they were born, which is a bit weird.

4) I have an overactive imagination, and like to have things carefully planned about 10 years in advance.

5) But I can’t make decisions, so these things may or may not ever happen. It’s the planning that is considered the most important thing. To me.

6) I sing in a choir at lunchtime, sometimes. It is called the Guardian’s Angels. We sing pop classics and Vivaldi. Only occasionally does it sound like we’re singing both at the same time.

Oh, and we also sing Christmas music sometimes (Christmas, generally).

7) I don’t see the point in sudoku, and I can’t do them. These two facts may be related, but seem unlikely to change.

8) I am not very good at taking criticism. It can cause anything from a pout, to a little cry, to a big cry, to a two week sad and writers block. Something tells me I may not be cut out for a long freelance career.

9) I have an unhealthy addiction to the television programme “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, although I only watch the first ten minutes, when the presenters all cry, and then the last ten minutes, when the family all cry (at the sight of a flat-screen TV, generally).

I don’t care about the bit in the middle. Those who’ve seen it know what I’m talking about, those who haven’t – you’re probably better as you are.

10) I have never ever been on what you might term a ‘Beach Holiday’. Until Now.

Gosh that sounded dramatic, didn’t it? And it’s not really now. It’s in a bit. Now would be great and that, but I’m not packed.

The only packing I’ve done so far is a pile of books.

Oh, and a pile of swimming costumes, but you know about that.

I will think of other facts later. I have to go to work. I’m not sure there are twenty facts, but I will think very hard. And I’m not really sure about this whole tagging thing. If you think you want to try and write 20 random facts about yourself on your site, can you let me know and we’ll pretend we did the taggy thing?

Sorry to be rubbish.

Ooooh!

11) I say sorry too much. We started a ‘sorry’ box at home for a few weeks but stopped when the amount started to creep above my weekly salary. I say it far far too much.

There are several stages of knowing me. People tend to hit a ‘finding it annoying’ point after a few months, generally, and eventually tail off into a ‘not hearing it anymore’. I hope. Sorry if not.

I do try and stop myself, but often pull myself up by saying the word ‘sorry’ again, which I then have to apologise for.

I’m not sure that counts as a “random fact”. Sorry. Oh, shit, I said sorry. Sorry.

See?

Right. Erm.

12…

Update: Much later

Wow, what a shit-sodden day.

Random fact number 12: I have had a shit sodden day. It started with nearly getting run over. Twice. I should have gone back to bed at that point. And I would have done too, if it hadn’t have been for that pesky choir. And, you know, the fact I have to work to eat and stuff.

Stepping outside the fact that we’re supposed to be concentrating on a meme right now, in totally unrelated news, Laura has just asked in the comments what a ‘meme’ is, and I had to admit that I don’t really know.

The nearest I can get is that it’s doing a thing that everyone else is doing. Sometimes because other people instruct you to. Sometimes it’s a list of questions, and sometimes it’s more like an exercise. So basically it’s like homework, right? Except you’re grown up and it’s on your blog, yes?

If anyone can inform me what it is, that would be just great.

Right. I’m supposed to be doing a random fact thing. Um.

Update, later still

13: I despise having my photo taken. This is part of the reason I have no intention of getting married.

14: My favourite weakness is cheese. Goats cheese, blue cheese, grilled halloumi, bog standard cheddar. The fact that it’s mainly fat is a crying, crying shame.

15: I learnt to drive, failed my test (it was so Totally unfair, too) and couldn’t afford any more lessons. I therefore count myself as sort of able to drive, although strictly speaking I haven’t picked up a car for 11 years. Not Picked Up a car. You know what I mean.

16: I don’t know what to get my beloved for his birthday. I have no idea. What do you get the 27 year old man who has everything Plus a neurotic girlfriend?

17: Lordy, I’m going to have to think of some humdingers. This is going very badly.

Update: the next day

Ok. I shall get this done, sorry.

17: Or does the fact that I needed to think of some other things count as a fact in itself? Confused. Alright, let’s pretend that never happened.

17: Though my beloved and I live in the same place and work in the same place, we always travel to and from work seperately. People need their time to think.

18: At the beginning of next year I will be going to my very first opera, which is something I wouldn’t have imagined would happen, really, as I’ve always been quite vehemently anti-opera. Not that I don’t like it, I like the music very much. I’m just quite anti-opera. I should probably write a proper post about it. That’s the problem with random facts on a blournal. Either you’ve already written about them in depth or you could do, and with every one you see a full-length post disappearing down the gutter of listness.

God, that’s only 18, still, isn’t it. Sorry.