A solid and reliable scientific theory

by anna pickard

The predisaster theory.

First law of binnies predisaster theory;
1) Something will go wrong.

Well, to be fair, thats not only the first law of binnies predisaster theory, it happens to be the first law of every single other binnie theory as well.
Something will go wrong. This is usually followed by shut up and deal with it. Which reminds me, I should tell yall about my upcoming agony aunt project.
Seriously.

Anyway.

1) Somthing will go wrong.

2) Given the amount of people in the world vs the amount of concievable things that could go wrong, it is entirely logical [read not logical at all] to suppose that in any given situation or on any given journey, only One Thing will go wrong.

3) Therefore, following the thing going wrong, the journey or event is pre-disastered and thus destined for ultimate success.

For several years now I have felt enormously comforted at the late running of trains, the presence of road works, predicted fog etc. As long as its something – and it always is – that makes the journey cut a little fine, but doesnt collapse it entirely.

For example: One day of the journey up to the Isle of Mull, where we were on holiday, involved 9 separate pieces of transport. Should have been 7, but it was 9. First thing in the morning, we caught the bus to a station, and found it horrendously and irretrievably closed.
All the panic Id had about the whole days travel was immediately, utterly wiped from my mind.

Why?
Because wed been predisastered.
One thing had gone wrong so that nothing else had to.

A Brilliant, workable and reassuring scientific theory.

Or, perhaps rubbish.
You say potato, I say four storey diplomatic residence.
Or however that song goes.
Whatever, its just two ways of looking at the same, – or perhaps different – objects.

I cant remember my point.

Excuse me, I have to go and make gravy.
Thats not a euphemism.