The First (and penultimate) day.

Hello, and welcome

Wed like to start the day with a brief tour. As temps, we know youll find the building a little confusing, and youll not be here long enough to become really familiar, but were hoping that your tour today will orient you completely.

If youll just follow me, well take not this first set of stairs but the second set of stairs, the half set of stairs to the mezzanine floor. Its important to remember that theres nothing on the mezzanine floor of any interest whatsoever. There is also no way to get from the mezzanine floor to anywhere else, so if youll just follow me, well go back down the half set of stairs the way we came.

Well walk quickly through the main hall here, the exhibits here are all very interesting, and youll need to be able to talk about them if anyone asks, which they will, and so youre quite welcome to stay and have a look at them after youve finished training today – you will not, of course, get paid for this.

Leaving the great hall we enter the second great hall, which contains things of great historical significance.

Here are the glass lifts, well take them up to the third floor, please bear in mind that you cannot get to the fourth and fifth floors via this lift.

This is the third floor, there are aeroplanes that way, thats a simulator, that simulates something. Do encourage people to go on it, its great fun, and non-expensive.
No, we cant go on it.

Thats a childrens area, the third floor childrens area, its on the map, hurry up. We come now to another area, there are some useful lifts over there, but were getting in some lifts over this way, take a left through this gallery, right, left, left, right, straight ahead, right and then left, and then right again.
However, theres a shortcut through this staff only door, you wont be able to use it though, you havent got a key fob.
So if you took that shortcut, which you wont be able to usually, youll find the lifts very easily. Here they are.
We can go up to the fifth floor in these lifts and these lifts alone.

This is the fifth floor, its very very interesting.
These are the stairs, were going down them.
This is the third floor, weve come out in a different place, do you notice that? Lets get these other lifts down to the basement.

This is the basement, its great for kids. Thats the kiosk, which shouldnt be confused with the cafe, coffee bar or restaurant, which are on the first, first and third floors, not in that order.

Coming up these stairs from the basement, we find ourselves in the new interactive wing, its important to note that this wing can be accessed from the Ground and Third floors only, and from no other place. Only from the Ground and Third floors. There are more lifts here, we can get them from the Ground floor to the Third Floor only.

This is the Third floor, you can enter the new wing from here, and also the older part of the building. If we walk through this area on flight, and down this set of stairs, not the first or second set you pass, but the third, we can find or way down and can leave the stairs on the second or first floor, or indeed, the ground floor, where we are.. now. These stairs do not go to the basement, fourth or fifth floors. Now lets get in these lift, and go to the third floor.

And now down to the second. this is an important place. Remember this, people will always be asking for it.
If they do ask at the main entrance for this place, tell them to go past the main tills, turn right, through the great hall, past the space section to the glass elevators, walk round the glass elevators three times, kick a small child, walk back through the space section and to the main stairs, up the main stairs to the third floor, from whence they wont be able to get to the fourth, fifth floor or basement, turn left, swim through the flight section, past the stimulator, fly through the shipping section, and theyll end up at the glass lifts, they should step into the glass lifts, go down to the basement, and take the first set of stairs they find to the main entrance. From there, they should take the lift directly from the main entrance to the second floor.

It couldnt be easier.

Now you may have noticed, while Ive been telling you that, weve done two more laps of the building, ensuring that, by now, you should be well aquainted with the whole museum and should have no problem at all finding your way around.

So, are there any questions?