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Drama, exercise, desperation

Due to several months of appointments, classes and ‘refusal to nap anywhere but during long pram walks’ (that’s doozer, not me, I never refuse to nap anywhere), we walk the seafront a lot. We walk the seafront in sun, in rain, in wind and in fog, and sometimes in all of them at once, given what the weather has been like this year.

Thanks to this, I not only have an incredible lower-arm tan (“Oooh, you’re brown, have you been anywhere nice?” said the health visitor when I saw her last week. “No. Well, yes. I’ve been pacing Hove Lawns in an attempt to induce sleep”, I growled), but I also have a great knowledge of the type of people who walk on the seafront at any particular time of day, week, or season.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE ON THE SEAFRONT IN THE RAIN

1) New Parents Pushing Enormous Prams.
They’re happy to be there, in that it is outside, and quiet (apart from the torrential rain lashing at their hoods and wind whipping around their heads), but the baby is sleeping and that is intrinsically calming.

2) Doomed Lovers.
Not doomed as in ‘they are bound for death’, just as in ‘they aren’t going to be together very long. Possibly not beyond the next five minutes’. You cannot generally get close enough to hear them, because they are locked in tear-filled embraces close to the crashing waves, but if you could, they would be saying things like “O god! It’s not that I don’t love you! I love you so much it hurts, and that is why we cannot be together! You are TOO perfect for me”. And other things that make sense when you are 20-something years old and bored and want to go and have sex with other people but aren’t quite sure how to phrase that. They stand there, locked in a moping embrace, staring at the waves and feeling like it is a Giant Metaphor for their Whole Relationship. They will individually look back on this in 15 years and either laugh, or cringe, or both.

3) Joggers.
Because as everyone knows, joggers are nuts.

  1. Hello and welcome back! It’s been a long time since I lived near the sea but I do remember the sight of tourists watching as their fish and chips were nicked by passing gulls. Very amusing.

    On another note, we are heading off to San Francisco in sept and wondered if you had any good hotel/motel recommendations for nice not ridiculously expensive hotels in the city? Or indeed any recommendations for anything at all!

    Cheers me dear

    Comment by birchsprite — 11 July, 2012 1:06 am

  2. The sea – I remember that. Nice

    Comment by joeinvegas — 11 July, 2012 1:37 pm

  3. Ha ha, yes I remember the doomed lover phase. There are some good things about being a grown-up, it turns out. Although perhaps I’d be a better writer if I had stayed that way. Hmmm.

    Comment by Nose in a book — 12 July, 2012 10:44 am

  4. 2 San Francisco restaurants: Washington St Bar & Grill (affectionately known as the Washbag). Very good. Baker St Bistro. Not on Baker St so they’re lying bastards but they make a lovely dinner.

    Oh, and the multi-faceted delights of the Embarcadero. Although actually some of that burned down. By September it may be all better and you can slurp the FABULOUS oysters casino.

    In hotels you can choose between a) Nice and b) Affordable. Not both.

    Comment by Expat Stu — 12 July, 2012 1:13 pm

  5. Do you still get seagulls by the sea in Hove and Brighton?

    They mainly seem to have decamped to supermarket car parks here.

    Comment by Miss Nomer — 13 July, 2012 4:43 am

  6. I have the same tan. My hands are the brownest. One week I chalked up 26 miles. I think he slept for about 500m of that.

    Comment by Emily — 14 July, 2012 2:07 pm

  7. I’m familiar with San Francisco, and I’ve heard the phrase ” nice not ridiculously expensive hotels”, but it looks very odd to see both in the same sentence.

    Comment by Merry — 15 July, 2012 10:37 am

  8. I mean, next you’ll be expecting convenient parking ;)

    Comment by Merry — 15 July, 2012 10:37 am

  9. A pram that’s a crib that moves back and forth in the house as if someone’s pushing it outdoors, that’s what mothers need – for the babies, that is.

    Comment by guyana gyal — 31 July, 2012 11:03 am

  10. I remember pushing a pram or pushchair back and forth indoors on several occasions. Partic if in a shop, having walked there – if the motion stopped, he would wake up.

    I took my boys to a beach last week and it was so nice I am going back on my own next Tuesday, just so I can stare at the waves for a long time. Children above a certain age get impatient if you try to do stuff like that.

    How nice to see you back!

    [waves] (hur hur)

    Comment by Beleaguered Squirrel — 2 August, 2012 4:12 am

  11. Hello!
    I haven’t been on here in forever, but when I was in Stockholm the other week we rowed in a little red rowing boat, and when I saw a photo of it today I was reminded of your blog.

    Joggers are most definitely nuts!

    Comment by bevchen — 31 August, 2012 9:32 am

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