[aka I've landed now and at least I've got internet]
“Are you excited?”
*nods*
“It’s all gone very smoothly, hasn’t it?”
*nods*
“And it’s only eleven more hours”
*nods*
“And when we land, we’ll be home”
“What?”
“When we land, we’ll be home”
“No, we’ll be in San Francisco”
“Which is where we live. Which makes it …”
*splutters*
“.. home”
“Well now, don’t let get hasty, we haven’t bloody taken off yet. Wah. What? I mean, that’s just silly-talk. Home? What? Can I get off please?”
And just then, the plane sped up and tipped back, and headed off into the unknown.
____________
Or rather ‘the sky’ which isn’t really that unknown. Not to, like, physicists and stuff. Do physicists do ‘sky’? Or is that geographers? Is it not too ‘uppy’ for geographers? Geographers are more ‘downny’ in their area of expertise, are they not? Well, you know, scientists anyway. They know.
So it is not unknown to them. To the unknown scientists, whichever scientists those may be.
And also pilots. Hopefully. Really, seriously hopefully, because if they don’t know about it I’m going to start panicking, because we’ve still an hour till we land and if the pilots are sitting up there in the cab going
‘wow, what’s all this unknown outside the windscreen?’
‘yeah, I dunno graham, but if it’s unknown we should totally just crash before it bites us or something’
‘yeah, tony, totally.’
then I’m not sure I’m quite so happy about being on this flight anymore.
I’m quite bored.
Not by the time you read this. Bored, I mean. I’ll be in my new flat that I’ve never seen by the time you read this, so that will be quite an exciting time. Though also, arguably by the time you read this you’ll be asleep, so it won’t make that much difference. Or it might be a different time. Because by the time you read this I’ll be asleep so I won’t be bored, but it won’t be that exciting either.
Anyway: point being, by the time you read this, I won’t be on the flight anymore, because they haven’t installed in-flight blogging. Yet. They’ve installed inflight seat-to-seat text messages on a little infuriating handset - I managed to message my Beloved saying: HELLO I LOVE YOU THIS THING IS COCKING RUBBISH WE ARE MOVING TO CALIFORNIA HOW EXCITING IS THAT I AM PLANE-GASSY IT DOESN’T SMELL THOUGH which was testament to how bored I was at that point in the flight already, because it took me 40 minutes and an awful lot of frustration to type that. And because he was sitting right next to me.
And he already knew about the gas thing because I kept tapping him on the shoulder and doing mini-burps for his entertainment (his in-flight entertainment system had broken down so it was the least I could do).
I watched some films - In Bruges I loved an awful lot, I must say, some dreck with Helen Hunt I didn’t so much. There were other films I had wanted to see, but then thought I could save them for the way back, but then I remembered I wasn’t coming back, and then freaked out, quietly.
Someone’s going to come along in a minute and ask me to shut my laptop. Outside the window there are patchworks of fields around rivers, and stretches of drier-looking land stretching toward mountains. Soon we’ll land, and pick up the bags that weigh half a tonne each (though only a few millikilos under their allowed weight, which was a fucking miracle, frankly) we’ll get a cab, because anything else would be arm-breaking insanity, we’ll go and pick up keys and then … well, then excitement. Excitement and a bunch of trying to work out if we can improvise a bed, because otherwise we haven’t *strictly* got one. But we do have jetlag. So that’s almost as good. I know I was going to tell you about dinner last night - I just need to upload those photos first and oh
The seatbelt light’s just gone on, and there’s a stern looking woman in uniform walking toward me. I have to
transmission ends
Wheee!! Welcome to the USA!
Hopefully now that you’re here, it means things will be getting better overall. It’s the least we can do, I think - improve as a nation to make your stay more enjoyable. (c:
Comment by elayne — 3 September, 2008 2:08 am
Welcome to your new “home”! Have to have the little thingees since it isn’t really home….
Hope the mericans are being nice. I found the pretty nice on the whole, rather a surprise! And they do everything BIG. I coped OK once I realised I didn’t have to eat and drink and do everything! All the best and hope the kitties have made it safely.
Comment by Lou — 3 September, 2008 2:25 am
I would like to hear more about the adventures of Tony and Graham. I see them as having lots of crises up there in the cockpit (snerk) - not on your flight natch, but after you’ve landed. They probably have half-hour moments of drama where a busty and breathless flight attendant leaps through the little door and gasps something really vital like, “oooh! We’re all out of those little packets of good crackers and we’re down to stale pretzels and it looks like a riot Tony!” And Graham will be all, “Why is it always Tony, Rhonda? Am I not man enough to cope with snack shortages? Is that why you left me?” And Tony can turn towards the great unknown and tighten his knuckles on the wheel thingy in a manly sort of way.
Comment by Megan — 3 September, 2008 2:27 am
Yay for being in the same time-zone as me now! And for the new home! And the excitement!
Hmm, okay, I’ll stop with the exclamation marks now. But yay nonetheless.
Comment by Citronella — 3 September, 2008 3:46 am
Welcome to the start of something new. What will it be? Who knows? This is where the fun starts…
Comment by a usual suspect — 3 September, 2008 4:01 am
Sarah Chalke will now replace Minnie Driver as the voice in my head narrating your blog.
Comment by drew — 3 September, 2008 5:41 am
I can’t watch Helen Hunt any more; she sooooo wants me. And the new X-Files film. That Gillian Anderson is so after my body.
Anyway.
Enormous amounts of luck to you and yours on your new adventure. That’s the way to think of it; every day an adventure in a foreign country.
*hug*
Comment by Brennig — 3 September, 2008 6:00 am
Is anyone else getting “sympathy excitement”?
No? Just me then? OK.
Comment by Gordon — 3 September, 2008 6:41 am
Come home, we miss you!
Seriously though it’s soooooooooo excitingcan’t wait to find out what your apartment is like and everything
*waits patiently*
Comment by LizSara — 3 September, 2008 7:54 am
Hooray for you.
You made it.
Tony and Graham, in my tiny cinema that lives in my head, look like that video of the Foo Fighters where they pretend to be gay pilots. That’s exactly what they look like in My cinema.
Hmmmm!
Kx
Comment by Katyboo1 — 3 September, 2008 8:22 am
I feel bereft. Which is odd. I know that you’re being on a whole other continent doesn’t have to make any difference to a blog but it feels weird that you’re not here. Well, in the same country anyway.
Good luck with everything.
Comment by Lisa — 3 September, 2008 8:36 am
Great! It can be done. There is hope after all…
Comment by neutrino — 3 September, 2008 11:25 am
I am getting sympathy excitement too, tis very exciting and makes me want to do something like move my desk diagonally just so I can move in some way too but not so scary as moving house or moving continents. My other half has ended up in hospital every time we’ve moved house so far (four times), so I don’t think we should move anything at all now.
Good luck Anna! Hope the kittings are well and are still talking to you x
Comment by Tea & Biscuits — 3 September, 2008 11:35 am
Welcome to our side of the world! We’re very glad (and a teensy bit proud) to have you here.
Your new place won’t feel like home just yet, but I guarantee you that in a couple of months, you’ll catch yourself saying “At home…” and you’ll realize you’ve really, truly, fully arrived.
Comment by Liesl — 3 September, 2008 12:43 pm
In Bruges is ace. And was written by Martin McDonagh. And the best line is “Is he having a wee or a poo?”
I-thank-you.
Comment by Miss T — 3 September, 2008 12:43 pm
As a long time reader, just wanted to wish you the very, very best of lick. Damn. Luck. The very best of luck.
Comment by Jim — 3 September, 2008 1:21 pm
Just think, if you’d been flying to europe, you could have been flying celebair, and had chico or lisa steps scott lee looking stern at you. silver lining and all.
Comment by network7 — 3 September, 2008 1:40 pm
Been reading your blog for a while Anna but never commented. How very very exciting you are in San Francisco! I always thought if I moved to the US, that’s where I would live. I’ve been in love with the idea since I read Tales of the City when I was a teenager. Which is quite a while ago now! I live in Manchester so I thought it would be a home from home, it’s quite foggy there/ it’s very grey here. Except obviously SF is far far more exciting and new and cool etc etc, and Manchester is rather cold and familiar…oooh the thought is making me want to move too!
Hope it all goes well, looking forward to hearing about your adventures over the other side of the pond.
Comment by Wendy Juniper — 3 September, 2008 2:16 pm
Wendy
Tales of the City are awesome books aren’t they? That’s how I fell in love with San Francisco too. Always been a bit afraid to visit in case it fell short. Now Anna can recce it and report back.
Comment by Katyboo1 — 3 September, 2008 2:41 pm
Congratulations, you’ll love it. It’s worth the bit of crying, or any occasional moment of discomfort you may have. Absolutely. Have a field day.
Comment by dr. haus — 3 September, 2008 5:25 pm
But did you remember to wear flowers in your hair? We need to know.
Hugs.
Comment by Mr Farty — 3 September, 2008 11:01 pm
I’m having sympathy excitement, too. I pretended you didn’t have to be on a plane for eleventy-four hours, so I also wouldn’t have sympathy phobia, too.
Will there be pictures of your SF adventures? I hope so!
Comment by Dawn — 3 September, 2008 11:09 pm
Katyboo,
Yeah I love them, i’ve read them so many times! Was so chuffed when Michael Tolliver Lives came out. I visited SF once, years ago and it certainly didn’t disappoint, i loved it. I’d love to go back again and find the place that Barbary lane is based on!
Comment by Wendy Juniper — 4 September, 2008 2:05 am
1) I’m sure your mini-burps made for great in-flight entertainment. Lighting your farts would have been better, though the airline might have got cross and had you paraded on the evening news as ‘Anna Pickard, known as the “Fart Bomber”‘
2) Meteorologists do sky. I suppose it’s what meteors fall out of so it makes sense.
3) I read a great piece of advice to new pilots once, telling them to try to fly in the middle of the air and avoid the edges. “Edges can be identified by trees, buildings, rocks, sea and interstellar space.” I always liked the idea of the edge of the air.
4) Enjoy the USA.
Comment by Rob — 5 September, 2008 4:27 am