I find it very hard to keep secrets. If I have some exciting news, and I absolutely positively cannot let people know for one various reason or another, I am very bad indeed at that. I find it torturous.
In fact, it is easier for me to just try and avoid those people, to not talk to them at all, than to talk to them and have to keep my secret. I’d rather cross the road and pretend I didn’t see them than make eye contact, start smalltalk and then have to lie when they say “What’s going on with you?”
Which is why I’ve been very quiet this week on my blog.
I have a secret. And I can’t tell you, no. I’ve got a couple of stories from my holiday just past that I still need to write up and put on here, but until I am allowed to talk publicly about the thing currently occupying 85% of my brain, I might be a little bit quiet.
And no, before the inevitable 30 people ask, I’m not pregnant, not trying to GET pregnant and haven’t suddenly popped out a personpet without even realising I WAS pregnant in the first place. That much I can tell you.
The rest I can’t. And it’s driving me nuts.
If we try and guess, can you say Yes and No?
Have you won an award?
Have you got a new job?
Are you pregnant?
Not even a little bit?
Comment by Dan — 29 June, 2008 10:42 am
Ah - but you obviously want everyone to *know* you’ve got a secret and try and guess, don’t you?
So I reckon:
a) you’ve got a new job/promotion as a TV reviewer
b) you’re going to emigrate / go on a ‘gap’ year and travel the world
c) you’re engaged
Warm with any of those? (Oh, and this had had better be good, btw.)
Comment by William T — 29 June, 2008 11:05 am
Third arm? Third eye?
Second nose?
Eleventh toe?
I’m guessing “extra very well hidden body part”.
Comment by Katy Newton — 29 June, 2008 12:05 pm
Oooo! OR extra previously undisclosed superhero talent, e.g. shooting webs out of wrists.
Comment by Katy Newton — 29 June, 2008 12:07 pm
Book!
Comment by scroobious — 29 June, 2008 12:56 pm
I KNOW the secret! Heeee! But I will not tell (applies gaffer tape to mouth). Mmmf! Mmmmmf!
Comment by hfactor — 29 June, 2008 3:07 pm
You are going to be the next queen and I claim my twenty pounds.
Comment by katyboo1 — 29 June, 2008 3:35 pm
You’re trading your current life in to live on a desert island with few comforts, no internet, which means no blogging.
No?
Oh well, screw it.
Let’s see: You got a job with a big firm here in the States?
Comment by a usual suspect — 29 June, 2008 4:27 pm
You are the new Doctor Who and will be seen in next week’s finale as David Tennant regenerates into you.
Or you will be a contestant on the next Comics In Need Relief Sort Of Celebrity The Apprentice Special.
Comment by Electric Dragon — 29 June, 2008 5:28 pm
You’re the new Dr Who… oh, someone’s already done that.
Comment by Daniel — 29 June, 2008 8:20 pm
So this is a public thing, because if it were personal you wouldn’t do what you just did. It’s a public thing involving other people and it’s something that us the public will find out. God, you’re not going in the Big Brother house are you? No, that would be 100 per cent of your brain.
I’m thinking book, too. Or I’m guessing it’s a thing related to this blog, which is why you want to say and won’t.
Or you’re moving.
Or you have invented something and the patent hasn’t come through yet.
You’ve invented moving.
You’ve invented moving BOOKS!
Comment by Cliff — 29 June, 2008 10:09 pm
That’s like dancing around someone singing ‘I know a secret! I know a secret!’. It usually ends up by that someone sitting on you pulling your hair forcing you to fess up.
OK - does anyone live near Anna that can do that? I can’t quite reach her from here.
Comment by joeinvegas — 30 June, 2008 2:39 am
Ok, some of you are warm (I really wasn’t meaning you had to guess, but it’s the natural reaction to someone annoyingly going “I know something you don’t know” so I should have expected it) anyway, yes, hopefully I’ll be able to talk about it later in the week.
But no, no book (what on earth would I write a book about?)
No engagements (do people still do that?) and for the last time
Not Even Remotely Pregnant. Hell No.
But yeah, I think a bunch of you have pretty much said it, even if you don’t realise you have - and to the usual suspect, who hoped this might lead to me blogging less … sadly it’ll probably be quite the opposite.
Comment by anna — 30 June, 2008 7:41 am
If you move, i might cry…unless you blog more and send cake*
Well it’s the only thing i could think of that people have guessed you didn’t refute
*you don’t really have to send cake, i’m dieting you know
Comment by LizSara — 30 June, 2008 8:14 am
You ARE the new Doctor Who! WOW!
(I wasn’t going to join in this guess-fest, but it’s SO definately to do with TV!)
Comment by AndyB — 30 June, 2008 8:16 am
Notice, please, that she did not say “No extra body parts or superpowers”.
Comment by Katy Newton — 30 June, 2008 8:51 am
You’re going to blog more? You’ve been Dooced, which will enable you to blog for your living. With pictures of your Life and everything.
Comment by Z — 30 June, 2008 9:18 am
Look everyone, she’s told you what it is, - it’s right there in the blog above.
An alien body-snatcher has taken up residence and is occupying 85% of Anna’s brain and forcing her to keep a bit quiet.
But to be serious for a moment, I reckon that an alien body-snatcher has taken up residence and is occupying 85% of Anna’s brain.
Comment by Yeractual — 30 June, 2008 9:55 am
Anyway, I’ve got a MASSIVE secret an’ I bet it’s just as ENORMOUS as Anna’s secret an’ even supposing it’s exactly the same size as Anna’s secret that means it’s taking up at least 98% of my brain.
Comment by Yeractual — 30 June, 2008 10:02 am
Methinks there is a rough consensus on this one (TV: CC).
(This comment probably makes no sense at all if links aren’t allowed. So there.)
Comment by Alexander — 30 June, 2008 10:18 am
ARGH!
That is all.
Comment by clare — 30 June, 2008 11:01 am
But I think I’ve probably guessed.
But I’m not saying what I think it is, cos then I get to have a secret too. So ner.
Comment by clare — 30 June, 2008 11:01 am
Well, whatever it is (and yeah, I’ve got a good general hunch), it’s quite clearly Very Good News Indeed, so Congratulations in advance for whatever it is that we will shortly be congratulating you for. Ahum.
Comment by mike — 30 June, 2008 12:53 pm
“and to the usual suspect, who hoped this might lead to me blogging less … sadly it’ll probably be quite the opposite.”
Now, now, I was NOT hoping you would be blogging less, just merely suggesting, with my tongue bolted into my cheek, that you were going off to some place that would limit your blogging ability. Personally, I would love to see you blog more. You are one hell of a writer.
Comment by a usual suspect — 30 June, 2008 3:26 pm
At the start of what is already being a rubbish week the suspense is killing me. You’re getting married? You’re not having a baby, maybe Meg is?! Crikey this is all too much for me. Can you say when you will be able to tell us?!
Comment by Piggy — 30 June, 2008 6:21 pm
You got married?
Comment by zed — 30 June, 2008 8:00 pm
Are you the third Cheeky Girl???
Comment by Caroline — 30 June, 2008 9:14 pm
Not ALLOWED to talk publicly about it. Yet.
Some sort of tv deal, like BBC News 24 or perhaps even something popular?
omg you’re the new Paxo!!!
Comment by Mr Farty — 30 June, 2008 9:25 pm
well done some of you, who are very warm, and commiserations to those of you that are slightly cooler. Which I can’t elaborate on, I’m afraid.
I’m also afraid that I’m going to get to the point where I *can* tell you and you’re going to say “Gosh, that wasn’t very exciting” and be all disappointed. I’ll have to make something else up now to make up for that.
And I can’t really say because it’s not really my secret.
A HA that’ll-get-you-guessing etc.
Comment by anna — 30 June, 2008 9:49 pm
The cats are pregnant, which is why it’s not your secret. This means that you’re going to have a flat full of kittens the size of teeny weeny new born chicks (as my middle daughter says about anything small) and that will force you to move out to Buckingham Palace where you will then become the queen, thus fulfilling my first prophecy and enabling me to claim my twenty pounds, which I will spend on Duchy Original biscuits just to cheer up Charles.
Comment by katyboo1 — 30 June, 2008 9:58 pm
“Not really my secret”
… so it’s Your Beloved who’s the new Doctor Who then?
Comment by Electric Dragon — 1 July, 2008 12:10 am
You’re finally agreeing to participate in Big Brother, aren’t you? I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation for long. It’s only taken nine years!
(Please don’t go on it. Whilst it would be a massive improvement having you in the series, it would be improved even more if someone were to drop a cluster bomb on the BB house.)
Comment by Girl — 3 July, 2008 2:07 pm
..reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“I can keep a secret; It’s the people I tell who can’t”…
Comment by slaybalj — 3 July, 2008 3:04 pm
You’ve been invited to the wedding of a Very Famous Person?
Comment by guyana gyal — 4 July, 2008 5:14 pm
It has to do with a job.
Isn’t this ‘next week’? You said you can tell us ‘next week’ and this is ‘next week’.
Comment by guyana gyal — 4 July, 2008 5:17 pm
Yes, an’ I’ve been sitting here refreshing the page for NINE days. I need to go to the toilet. What is the bloomin’ secret?
Comment by Yeractual — 8 July, 2008 12:59 am
Are you about to be revealed as the third corner in Mario and Lisa’s love triangle?
Comment by Jane — 14 July, 2008 4:25 pm
oh come ON! it’s about time you fessed up! i’m getting older here…
Comment by sama — 30 July, 2008 12:05 pm
You think I don’t WANT to? I’m going infuckingSANE here. But I’m still not fucking allowed.
Excuse my swearing, but it really is driving me nuts.
Comment by anna — 30 July, 2008 12:13 pm
wish i could keep my mouth shut sometimes
Comment by rob — 2 July, 2009 2:05 am