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A list of things of which some will most likely happen if I go away for a weekend or just a few days of holiday or so

[Even though these things do not in any way stop me from having the most wonderful wonderful time. They are just curiously incidental, that is all.]

1. Something bad, though not irretrievably bad will take place, generally involving the outward trip. CHECK

2. Whatever I have been waiting to be delivered all week will be delivered three hours after I have left. CHECK

3. There will be at least one moment where I have an anxiety flap about not wanting to be an annoying British tourist who can’t speak the resident language – but being rather hopeless to help that, that being exactly what I am. CHECK

4. I will in some way bugger my foot and be reduced to limping on my return. CHECK

5. Having a complete inability to keep away from email and blog comments, I will find some way of checking them, before discovering that I can’t cope with the slow connection and/or funny keyboard, and the whole thing is as pointless as not having been able to check them at all, but more frustrating. CHECK

6. My dear blog-peer and starry mate will appear on some popular Radio programme or other and say nice things about me but then if anyone comes to have a look they will find sadly little, as I have been on holiday and things. CHECK
(Although admittedly that doesn’t happen that often.

Or ever, really, apart from today.)

Now, I must go and upload eleventy-billion photos, read fifteentuple-dozen emails and recently updated blogs, and pet two cats who have gone mental on our return. I will update you as soon as I’ve done all that.
It mightn’t take too long, I was planning on being a bit slapdash.

  1. I did a comment, but I abandoned it because it sounded a bit sarky, even tho’ I didn’t mean it to, as if I thought you were making a mountain out of a molehill when I know you are being witty. Anyway – yay! you’re back! Hope the sorely foot heals quickly.

    Comment by Andria — 3 March, 2008 8:24 pm

  2. Oh! Don’t get me wrong, I had the most lovely lovely time. I should say that. I will amend it.

    My bag getting lost and having pulled the ligament in my left foot AGAIN, however, are notable things. To me.

    Did have a very wonderful time, though.

    Comment by anna — 3 March, 2008 8:33 pm

  3. You’re back!

    I am sorry about your foot. And your bag. And not at all sorry about your wonderful time.

    Comment by Miss T — 3 March, 2008 8:53 pm

  4. Yes, she did say lovely things about you. Glad you enjoyed Venice – sorry to read about the mishaps and incidents.

    Comment by Pierre L — 4 March, 2008 12:38 am

  5. The funny keyboards, they mess up your head. You start by having to retype every word three or six times, then you get used to them and when you’re back on a good old normal keyboard, your brain goes WHAT THE HELL!? and refuses to remember where the keys were in the first place. Or is that just me?

    Comment by céline — 4 March, 2008 9:28 am

  6. Hoorah. It’s like you weren’t even away. No, that sounds mean. We did miss you and now we’re glad you’re back but the time went so quickly that…

    Right, I’m giving up now.

    Comment by nuttycow — 4 March, 2008 9:43 am

  7. I know, nutty – it’s silly, I post more often than I have been doing in AGES and act like I’ve been to the moon and back. It just FEELS different, you see.

    Comment by anna — 4 March, 2008 9:59 am

  8. Clicking through and through and through, I ended up here and glad I did.
    What a treat:-) Thank you. Hope the foot gets better.

    Comment by Lane — 4 March, 2008 11:05 am

  9. Yay! Welcome back.

    Comment by Brennig — 4 March, 2008 11:44 am

  10. Hello,I heard and consequently discovered your blog after woman’s hour yesterday. Being rotten with flu in bed your archives kept me amused for hours (mind the stab of pain on giggling when my chest feels so tight with infection)I plan to stay and read for a while. I like this blog thing.

    Comment by penny — 4 March, 2008 11:50 am

  11. hope you had a lovely time


    Comment by peach — 4 March, 2008 12:54 pm

  12. ok, this possibly wasnt the post to read when preparing to go away to Paris for a long weekend… hmm – my anxiety levels (which are already pretty high) have gone through the roof!
    i need to find some sensible person/blog who does a nice point by point list of things to remember…like a plug adaptor thing for my phone…aargh!
    anyway, im glad you had fun in Venice!

    Comment by Emily — 4 March, 2008 2:08 pm

  13. I know how you feel. I love sailing, but I used to cut myself every time I boarded a yacht.

    I finally bought some boat shoes – it made all the difference.

    Perhaps you should get some boat shoes too.

    Comment by Damian — 4 March, 2008 2:28 pm

  14. Emily – don’t worry, those aren’t things that happen to EVERYONE – just me. Anyway, at least one bad thing going wron per trip is a good thing. That’s pre-disastering. I was going to write a post about it later this week. Again.

    Damian – weirdly, this time I turned my heel and spoinged my under-foot-muscle-thing once my bag had arrived with my flat walking shoes in (which was annoying, because you would at least have thought it would have happened in the day and a half when I was schlepping around in my heeled travlling boots. That would have made sense. But no.

    Penny – and any other new people- hello, and welcome. How lovely of you to have come, and to have stuck around. And get better (Penny, that is, I don’t know how sick the rest of you are…)

    Comment by anna — 4 March, 2008 3:56 pm

  15. The under foot muscle thing – it’s not Plantar Fasciatis is it, or Asthete’s Foot as an old girlfriend of mine used to call it. It’s when the tendon under the sole of your foot gets inflamed and gives the feeling of the sole of your foot burning, or peeling off – until it gets bad, and then you find yourself wishing the sole of your foot would peel off.

    If it is, I am an on-and-off sufferer. You can get instant relief by standing in a bath of freezing cold water. And orthotics, or really supportive shoes will help it long-term.

    Comment by Damian — 4 March, 2008 4:35 pm

  16. No, it’s not burny at all, more just swollen and painful, like the ligament thing underneath it has gone SPOING! as before.

    Comment by anna — 4 March, 2008 4:44 pm

  17. Hi Anna,
    that’s not the usual way to start a blomment, I know, but it is the first time I’m posting (see item 6 on your checklist) and it seems polite to say hello at least once.

    Sorry to hear about the foot – having limped ever since treading on a cobble in Kew Gardens, I do sympathise. Glad it didn’t spoil your trip.

    Thanks for the alerts. I’m just starting to learn Italian for a holiday in mid-April. It doesn’t matter how little I learn, I can count on my travelling companion to learn even less, so it will be muggins who does all the talking again.

    Comment by Dave H — 4 March, 2008 4:45 pm

  18. Hello! I heard about you on the radio. This is the first time I’ve even seen a blog…and this is what the fuss is about! I’m slowly getting up to speed with technology and I have to say I think it’s great. I’m waiting with bated (!!) breath..

    Comment by susie bear — 4 March, 2008 5:00 pm

  19. W00t! Rock that radio vibe! Or something.

    The phrase “It mightn’t take too long, I was planning on being a bit slapdash.” is completely brilliant. And very applicable. Love it. May have to steal it. Blogs suck you know, all this online stealing stuff that goes on.

    I took delivery of a new (rubbish but functional) laptop at the weekend after my one-year-and-four-months-old one died catastrophically (eternally damnéd be HP) and because it was made for sale in Mexico the keyboard is completely different – it has a button for the n with a hat on it, a button for upside-down punctuation marks, and a button to put an accent on your next letter – plus a lot of the punctuation is in completely weird places. I was initially quite disconcerted, and I can still never find the blasted apostrophe, but now I kind of love it. I never actually type in Spanish. I think I mostly love it because it’s not at all useful, just somehow endearing. Yep, I’m cool enough to be endeared by a keyboard…

    Get-well kisses to the foot!

    Comment by Eloise — 4 March, 2008 5:46 pm

  20. lol – thanks for the support anna. I have actually found the perfect cure for the stress – im going away with my boy, whose response to my wibbling last night about plug sockets “not being right..and i dont know where to buy one in aberdeen and and and…” was “we will buy one at the airport, just relax!”
    ah, the joys of travelling with a spontaneous person – especially when so anal you make lists for every possible occasion and spend spare time (such as washing up) pondering all the things that could go well, and thinking up solutions for them!

    Comment by Emily — 5 March, 2008 11:23 am

  21. Your delivery person waited THREE HOURS after you’d gone to try delivering? Good grief, I only have to nip round the corner to the post box – a 10 min trip if I walk reeeeaaally slowly, & they all decide to descend. Either that or I don’t hear our really feeble doorbell.

    Which isn’t so bad when it’s the PO – cos the “We couldn’t deliver this parcel” office is a short walk away. The other ‘services’ though . . .

    Glad you had a great time anyhow. Hope the foot is better soon.

    Comment by Sharon — 6 March, 2008 11:12 am

  22. Yes; but I love hoz qfter youmve mqstered q foreign keybqord, you hqve bilinguql fingers; )) zqit, let ,e szitch bqck to English; Ahhh! That’s better! As I was saying, I love how after you’ve mastered a foreign keyboard, you have bilingual fingers — forget about talking! The best was when I had mastered UK, American (not the same as Canadian, apparently — weird) AND French keyboards. Trilingual! And your fingers switch themselves to the right keys in whichever language you happen to be in. The best typists aren’t supposed to look at their fingers as they type. Well let me tell you, I can just press a button (like Eloise above) and switch my keyboard to French, and punch all the right keys without having the symbol marked on it show up (cf first sentence). The worst is trying to find symbols that have gone missing. This morning I tried to type an “i” with an umlaut over it. Couldn’t find it. But I did find all kinds of other neat and weird symbols. Of course, having tried umpteen different key combinations, I usually forget which one actually worked, and am lost again. (P.S. Haven’t commented since twins were born — they’re lovely. Boy and a girl. 6 months old already!)

    Comment by Meredith — 7 March, 2008 9:29 am

  23. Meredith – hello! And congratulations! Twins, my goodness, you brave woman (not, I imagine, that you get much choice in the matter) – that must be amazing. Congrats!

    And congratulations on the trilingual fingers too. Being childless i am, naturally, more impressed at that…

    Comment by anna — 7 March, 2008 9:36 am

  24. and no-one asked how you read the kittens – I was hoping to find out about some amazing new device that would help me find out just what my cats were trying to tell me – it’s so obvious your cats and mine are unusual in that they don’t speak to us!
    (It may be that my view of cat owners has been tarnished by occasional bouts of cattery-sitting …)

    Comment by Lynne — 20 January, 2009 11:26 am

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