OR Meming it up like the little memeybiatch I am

I don’t generally do memes, not really, because I’m not very good at answering questions succinctly and too forgetful to get around to it and other stuff.
But this one I’m doing. I need the content, and some other reason I decided on that I can’t remember right now. Anyway. Dan at Osirra tagged me, and on the understanding that he wouldn’t correct my spelling in the comments for at least five months, I decided to do the memey thing.

So. FIVE THINGS THAT NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME, then.

Well, in let us put it more like this, first, because this is what I would have written, unchecked:

FIVE THINGS I THINK PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME BUT THEY ACTUALLY DO

1) That I find Jeremy Paxman attractive. Because how would they know that? Oh. I tell them as soon as I get drunk. Oh.

2) When I have farted. I come from the school of ‘the more innocent you look, the more innocent you are’. Which, sadly, is a rubbish school. Never worked, never will either.

3) That I am shy I think everyone has this impression of me as the cool, calm, confident professional. Bollocks. They see the terror in my eyes. They bloody know.

4) The fact I physically can’t wear heels higher that just about two inches, and they have to be very wide, at that. And I still fall over. At this late age I’ve only just got used to my training heels, and I still walk a bit like a new tranny. I don’t think I am meant to wear heels. I pretend it is a choice, but anyone who has seen me in them knows this is not true.

5) That I have a blog I am CONSTANTLY surprised when people tell me they know about my blog, and I still haven’t developed an appropriate reaction face yet. I get very freaked out every time someone says it. I get very freaked out every time my mother says it, even though I know she’s now catching up constantly, and reading all the archives (Hello little mother! Sorry!), I cannot get used to it. You read my WHAT?! HOW? WAH!

Those are five things that I think people don’t know about me but they actually do.
But sadly that is not what the meme is.
The meme is this instead:

FIVE THINGS THAT NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME

1) That my given name is Joanna. Very few people ever called me the whole thing. Everyone called me Jo until I was sixteen, when we moved house and I decided I wanted to be called Anna.
When friends now find out that my name is Joanna, they start calling me Jo, repeatedly, to see how much I hate it. It used to be that I would get weirded, and beg them to stop. But soon enough I realised that if you just leave them to it, they find it too odd after about three minutes and give up.

2) That, currently, I have a little bit of a sore throat Only a little bit, mind. I’ve only had it since yesterday evening, on and off, and I haven’t got round to telling anyone yet.

3) That I get enormously freaked out by people walking behind me But mainly while walking either up or down slopes or stairs. It makes me extremely tense. I either have to move very fast to get ahead of them, or stop and let them get past. If I can’t do either of THOSE things, I become very tense and can’t talk.

4) The fact I used to collect paint swatches. Some little girls had scrapbooks full of wedding dresses, I had folders and binders and books full of pages of home catalogues ripped out and placed side by side to build the decor of my perfect house. Though many things in my dreams have changed, I still want a wall covered in a ginormous forest photograph thing and I don’t care what anyone says. Yeah they’re tacky, yes I love them, yes I’m having one. One day.
But I am soon 30 and still don’t know how or when I’ll get to buy and decorate somewhere. Possibly not for years. Yes, that makes me a bit sad.
But anyway. I used to love being dragged to Homebase for boring Garden things for my dad, because I’d pick up dozens and dozens of lovely long paint swatch thingies.

5) As you read this - depending on when you read it - I am on my way to ccatch a plane to America. Or if it is a bit later this morning, I am on a plane to America. Or, if you’re reading it later still, I am IN America.
If you’re reading it a LOT later, then I am already back from America. Sorry you missed it. It was great. I would tell you about it but it’s already in the archives and also I haven’t been yet. You should check in a little more often. Tut, you.

You see, I’ve been planning to get a little laptop all of my own, and I transferred the money to my Beloved to get it because he’s better at arguing people down, and so he bought one but DOH!, he is in The America for a few days, until at least midweek next week, so I shall have to go and collect it from him.

No, I can’t wait.

So the next time you hear from me, I will be in Las Vegas.

And since I have nothing to do but wander around, take pictures, people watch, not gamble, meet Joeinvegas and his lady wife for a show, wander around a bit more, shop, and hopefully play on my new lady-pooter, I am hoping to be able to blog at least every day.

Well I have to, because it is in the Action Plan.
As, of course, was Vegas.
I am so excited I need to wee now.

2 minutes later

Right.
And with that, I shall tag My darling seeester, Cliff, Katy, Stuart, and Jonny, all of whom I’ve asked, of course, because I’m polite.

Apart from Stuart, who won’t mind me being rude, and Jonny, who won’t do it anyway, so asking wouldn’t have made any difference.

Oh who cares! I’m going to Las Vegas!
And I managed to keep it a secret!
YAY!