In which I watch the internet in action
There are lots of things that mark the age of the internet. My own site is not that old, not in the scheme of things, so I will not attempt to make an argument that tries to prove how the internet was created for the purpose of snogging my blog, contentwise. The internet is 40, my site is 8 and a half. In any society, even virtual, that’s never going to be a happy metaphor.
But my blog is a bit old. I began it ten houses ago, if anyone is like me and measures life by rented flats. It’s been a while. And that’s nothing but a matter of pride, and a point of honour. This blog has done so well for me that this year, I may start celebrating its anniversary as a way of marking all the luckiest points of my life. Or maybe I’ll forget. Like every year.
There are, however, two things that remind me how much time passes.
Two posts, rather.
And I won’t link to either of them, because if I do, the ridiculous googly traffic for them will only get worse. I just find it funny that the two of my most frequently commented upon posts are about:
Hating Th0mas K1ncade: He is, and I still can’t deny it, an American artist whose work makes me punchy. It’s bland, overworked and uninspired and horrendously disneyish. Yes, I don’t like him, but other people do. The thing is; I may not like his art, but to be entirely honest, I really REALLY don’t care that much.
And yet, for the however many years since I wrote it, people have slowly and steadily been coming to the comment box to tell me their (generally very strongly held) opinion. They either agree that Mr K isn’t really terribly good, and say just that, plain and simple. Or they seem to be fans. Superfans, in fact, who go around the internet swearing and shouting in defence of their favourite brushthwacker. And the ridiculous thing is, I fully support their right to like whatever they want. I just wish they wouldn’t be so very unpleasant about it.
A plague on ALL your houses A few years ago - four full houses ago, not including my present one, we had less than half a dozen ladyb1rds storm our North London flat. Jokingly, I referred to this as an infestation.
And then it turned out there WERE infestations, and that people were genuinely concerned about it and trying to find help in how to deal with it. Unfortunately, not only was I not really infested in the first place, I had also moved house several times inbetween.
Now, every single year, I suddenly get an influx of comments, just one at first, then a couple, then a little flurry. All people with severe ladybug issues, all looking for help. All, and I can’t say this more emphatically, ALL IN THE WRONG PLACE. I neither know anything nor can offer any solution to a sudden influx of ladybeetles. I am almost completely useless.
But this is the thing - by these two posts I am reminded how much time passes, and things on the internet go round and round and round. These two posts, which represent such a tiny, unrepresentative part of my whole blog, life, work, are the most read and most longstandingly commented things on my whole site.
It makes me feel good about having a big archive of things for people to be able to read.
Although less good about the fact the only people that want to read it are taste-free republican swearists, and those with bad insulation and a possible damp problem and no one to talk about that with but my random blog.
The point is, I know I don’t have many readers anymore; but I’m grateful for the ones I have. Even if they are here for the wrong reason. And/or to abuse me.
Point is … actually, I don’t have any big argumentative or unpleasant point to prove. I’m just aware that I get to watch the time go by by this. I may think of a better point, though, so do hang on, just in case. Certainly, if there are any ladybug research departments out there who want to add a bunch of case studies to your papers, just let me know - I have a hundred people who can help.
Big things change, huge things happen, I just here watching ladybugs invade London flats and people assert the right to like bad artists, unendingly, as time goes by.
UPDATE - In case of misunderstandings
Sorry, I just wanted to clarify, this really isn’t a boo-hoo I haven’t got any readers post, I promise you. It just really honestly amuses me that my most constant source of new readers can be found on one hand defending vehemently a man I don’t really have very strong feelings about, and on the other asking for my help about a infestation problem I’ve never really had…
I’m just going to sit here patiently and wait for the k1ncade parade of idiots to arrive, as they SURELY will, as they certainly google K1ncade and all other variations.
(I’m grateful for the readers I have left too. sniff. I feel like norma desmond sometimes)
Comment by lucy — 15 November, 2009 8:04 am
Ah, well, as one of your terribly scarce readers (psh), I am enormously grateful for those 8.5 years of blogging, and even more grateful that you’re still doing it. Is very hard to maintain a blog, even when you get busy and even when readers and inspiration seem to dry up, so I don’t take it for granted that there is still a little red boat in the blogosphere. But there is, and it is a very happy making thing. Thank you!
Comment by scroobious — 15 November, 2009 9:07 am
“I’m grateful for the readers I have left too.”
Haha. Me too. I keep trying to give up blogging but not quite managing it.
Tinternet’s a funny place, innit?
Comment by Beleaguered Squirrel — 15 November, 2009 11:34 am
8,5 years, wow. That is a long time. You said something here and I know you mentioned it before, that you owe a lot of what happened in your life to this blog. As a very fresh blogger myself (not even a year yet) I am terribly curious what this lot is?
Comment by scary azeri — 15 November, 2009 11:36 am
Scary - pretty much everything, really. Most of my best friends, my boyfriend of 6 years, the job I do now, a lot of experiences I wouldn’t otherwise have had … all blog-related. Pretty much directly, in most cases.
Comment by anna — 15 November, 2009 11:52 am
The artist of whom you speak is terribly patriotic and the people who like him think he’s an intrinsic part of American culture and if you hate him, you must hate America and therefore hate freedom itself. You clearly, therefore, love Osama bin Laden and probably are in some kind of terrorist sleeper cell, awaiting orders to kill tons of white, lower middle-class, midwestern Americans with appalling taste in home decorating. There’s no other explanation for your dislike.
For myself, I hate schmaltzy, unironic kitsch and corporate dreck. Not only is the ‘art’ hard on the eyes, but the politics seem to be diametrically opposed to my own health and happiness.
Still, I’m a bit jealous of you. I’ve said he sucks too and nobody has noticed.
Comment by Les — 15 November, 2009 12:18 pm
*love* that you measure time passing in so many different ways.
Comment by Brennig — 15 November, 2009 1:13 pm
Well, that is pretty cool. I have so far managed to get myself a little regular column in an English speaking magazine back home. As I say, it is no Vogue…It is not even in the UK, where I live now. But so what? I only have been writing for less than a year, and English is not my language. And I am very grateful to the blog for that. For giving me confidence and exposure.
And for getting me some amazing new friends- all over the world. So I too, hope to say one day I owe it a lot. Will see, eh.
Comment by scary azeri — 15 November, 2009 1:19 pm
Ha! Mine is mid-twenties crises. I haven’t been blogging much recently but all my new visitors seem to come searching for some kind of solution. Well, I guess it’s easier to find a solution for a mid-twenties crisis than for infestations. Turn 30!
Comment by The B — 15 November, 2009 3:16 pm
You have successfully put me off that painter - I needn’t go to the trouble of even looking at his work. I trust you implicitly.
But Ladybugs? I love ‘em!!
One at a time, mind. Two or three? That’s OK too. But an “infestation” that could be a bit much.
Ladybugs, Ladybirds and Ladybeetles, but did you know also Ladyclock? Ladycow? and Ladyfly?
I kid you not. All names used to describe the beetle family Coccinellidae.
They eat aphids and scale insects and that’s a really good thing round about my place.
Comment by craigaroonie — 15 November, 2009 9:26 pm
So *that’s* who paints all those scenes for Woollies Christmas cards.
The Swiss are pathologically keen on ladybirds as a sign of good luck, so perhaps I should take this post as a sign of inspiration and commission the guy to come up with a painting of a winter landscape infested with ladybirds.
Comment by Mark Howells-Mead — 16 November, 2009 1:24 am
Your blog was one of the blogs that got me into blogging back in 2006. A friend recommenced that I have a read. Until that point I didn’t really know what blogging was. So I have you to thank for my blogging addiction. I meant that in a good way, not a finger pointing way :p
Comment by Invader_Stu — 16 November, 2009 6:19 am
I’ve only met that artist in the form of jigsaw puzzles, and even then only the sort of jigsaws that are put out on an obscure table during the holidays so people who are fed up with relatives and stale cheese straws can wander over and hide from everyone under the pretense of ‘doing the jigsaw.’ From this extensive experience I have concluded: 1) This particular artist produces works which, when cut into teeny tiny little pieces with knobs on, are (at least when assembled into slightly less teeny tiny blobs of hooked together pieces) not awful. As jigsaws. Never completed one so am a bit under-qualified to speak to actual whole works 2) there just might be a research paper to be gotten out of social and familial dynamics and the holiday jigsaw.*
*ooh. That sounds a bit academic-horror-movie-ish dunnit!
Comment by Megan — 16 November, 2009 7:22 am
Dear Miss Anna, I know you said you don’t have an infestation of ladybugs but could you please send a few this way? We have a shortage and they’re good for plants. I will return to your blog to collect them from you.
Comment by guyana gyal — 16 November, 2009 3:08 pm
Craigaroonie - where do they say “ladycow?” I’m interested because my mother is Russian and the direct tranlsation of Coccinellidae is “God’s Little Cow.” This cracked me up, and she said it makes perfect sense - because of their black spots!
Anna - I don’t always comment, but I’m still here! I always enjoy your posts!
Comment by Maria in Oregon — 16 November, 2009 5:10 pm
Hm. Hadn’t heard of that artist chap til you mentioned him. Pretty enough, but certainly bland. Not quite deserving of the ‘art’ label, just pictures really. Or maybe I’m the only one who makes that distinction? Anyways.
Can’t remember how I found your blog in the first place… nonetheless, your 8.5 years worth of archives have sustained me through many a painfully boring afternoon at work and provided many try-to-giggle-quietly-and-subtly-so-bosses-don’t-know-I’m-not-working moments.
Comment by Bella — 16 November, 2009 6:53 pm
Ack. Mall art. Spare me.
But while I’m here… I seem to have this infestation…
Heh heh heh…
Comment by Dawn — 16 November, 2009 9:13 pm
I think it is not readers you lack - more like you have fewer regular commenters perhaps. The regulars on failblog seem astounded at the number of votes they get in the webby awards; with maybe 25 regular commenters, they get many thousands of votes, presumably reflecting that number of regular viewers, of whom many seem to be regular readers.
People come here because they like what they find, but most of them are too shy to comment. We all wish we could write like you - but are all too aware that we can’t; so mostly remain silent.
Comment by lynne kendall — 17 November, 2009 5:12 am
Lynne is correct, we enjoy your work. I also admire youe energy as we have lived in the same house for 38 years and cannot imagine moving. How brave you are!
Comment by Ian's Mum — 18 November, 2009 3:33 am
I have to admit, I check back irregularly and came to your blog thru another brit either Leonie, Pomgirl or possibly another who moved to Vancouver, BC ages and ages ago and I became instantly jealous of all your awesome blog graphics and such and of course your awesomeness at writing. I’ve been inconsistant myself at writing til my break up when I didn’t have enough time due to spending it w/ the love of my life and the theater - but that all changed and heart on way to being mended, writing is a new priority again. Looking on my own blog history, I sort of use it as a memory place as well. There are break ups, moves, damaged cars, damaged friendships.. drama highs and lows.. no ladybugs and down to few commenters myself, if at all, but I still love it and it’s started some great friendships I’m grateful for. Cheers!
Comment by Miss Devylish — 18 November, 2009 2:00 pm
Years back, I said snooker wasn’t a sport, and I still regularly get grief from the players.
Athletes, I mean - sorry. Of course.
Comment by Cliff — 18 November, 2009 4:41 pm
I’m afraid I haven’t visited for a long time. I used to like your funny thoughts on British life, going as far back as your spell on Iona with the rain and the sheep and on to your early days with the Grauniad. I don’t know if your readership has changed in America, but there’ll always be people wanting to learn from your everyday run-ins with plain idiocy.
Only 8 1/2 years?
Comment by Paul — 18 November, 2009 9:40 pm
Well, people move on, don’t they Paul?
Comment by anna — 18 November, 2009 9:42 pm
:) I’m a regular reader and an irregular commenter. Just shy, as Lynne said.
Keep up the lovely work Anna! May the good (and not at all deserving of being called Sinky) ship little red boat continue to sail for many years yet.
Comment by Pigwotflies — 19 November, 2009 11:05 am
I found you via the Asian Ladybirds post and have been reading ever since (I also used to read you in The Gruniad). Still haven’t got rid of the ladybirds though….
Comment by ganching — 24 November, 2009 6:00 am
another long term lurker here… maybe you just have fewer regular commenters than in the past?
(I came here after reading you in the Grauniad)
Comment by marjorie — 24 November, 2009 2:02 pm
My grandmother, whom I loved dearly, was a great fan of Thomas Kincade. She also collected Precious Moments figurines and, more aggressively, the free porcelain animals that you used to get in boxes of Tetley tea.
She was a lovely grandmother. She was not the reason why I studied art history.
Comment by Joy — 25 November, 2009 3:18 pm