1. But… a spellchecker wouldn’t have picked up on her mistakes!

   Well, I suppose it would have caught “dont” but the other two errors both resulted in real words.

   Ich bin ein pendantiatrist. Desole.

   Comment by Pete — 2 April, 2008 9:02 am

2. Pete -
   a) Yes, there’s were more obvious ways of pointing out the individual words, but going through and naming and shaming each grammatical and spelling error would have been mean and unnecessary, and I didn’t want to do that.
   b) I may not have been talking about those mistakes, just giving a general tip, although you’re right, in this case ‘make sure to read over’ might have been a more helpful hint.

   Where does the pedants union stand on bitch-face? Hyphenated, single word or just one? I was torn on the issue, personally, but rested on a hyphen.

   Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 9:12 am

3. Still you know, at least the art of letter writing isn’t complete dead?

   She (presumably she) started with “Dear” (bitch face), and put “thanks” at the end (admittedly that should have been “Yours sincerely”, unless “bitch face” is more of a collective term - you wouldn’t want it applied exclusively to you after all - in which case “Yours faithfully” would be more appropriate - but you can’t ask for everything.)

   Nor is there are ‘txt-speak’ evident. Which makes a nice change. Although actually I wouldn’t have criticised the spelling - I’d just have wasted an hour or two writing a lengthy rebuttal of all her points.

   Can’t remember the last time someone sent me an abusive email - normally I just get ones that are mildly sarcastic.

   Comment by William T — 2 April, 2008 9:16 am

4. Yeah, I as considering a point by point debate about the band in question, and I’m sure if she wants to continue that kind of reasoned debate she’ll write back, and I’m happy to do that if she does. I have done it a good many times before.

   But yes, the txtspeak etc was nowhere near as bad as some others have been. And you’re right, apart from the ’sincerely’ gaffe - which I’m guessing might not be high on the curriculum nowadays, with business email form being now, I think, held to different standards - it was a competently written thing. There are several things that deserved little red marks, obv, but my virtual red biro was broked.

   I don’t really get mildly sarcastic emails. Apart from from good friends, in which case they are the best kind. And comments in open forums can be a lot more cutting. But if people take the time to email to call me things, I do like to take the time to reply. They have taken the time to write, after all. It is only polite.

   Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 9:26 am

5. Anna, maybe `bitch face’ is not in fact a derogatory term. Perhaps your new penfriend means it in an more positive `bitchin’ kind of way, you know, like they do on the `street’. Not my `street’ obviously. I live in Bath and it’s all urban 4×4s and people dressed as Mr Darcy. But still, you know she could have been showing `respect’ for your attempt to tell it how it `is’.

   No, can’t keep this up. Sorry.

   Comment by HFactor — 2 April, 2008 10:51 am

6. It would need to be spell-checked the old-skool way. Like, with eyes. I’m not sure your friend would have much success with that, I’m afraid…

   You handled it very well, Anna! Very few people could keep their cool completely. Bravo.

   Comment by Anna F — 2 April, 2008 11:08 am

7. I don’t see why you’re so upset. It’s not like she called you a twunt or anything.

   Comment by Damian — 2 April, 2008 11:19 am

8. Now I would have pointed out each of the errors, explained why they were wrong, and put the silly little madam in her place. I enjoy doing that sort of thing (nothing worse than a grammatical pedant with mildly fascist tendencies).

   We haven’t mentioned the band. Was it one of those silly ones with white people wearing baseball caps back to front(I believe the genre is called ‘fisher-price metal’)? or was it one of those ones formed out of failed art students(’we like jelly and ice-cream and jumping on our beds’)? Either way, I’m sure that the band concerned feels no compunction at all in taking her pocket money off her.

   Comment by two left feet — 2 April, 2008 11:19 am

9. Damian - I’m not upset - who said I was upset? If I was to be upset, I certainly wouldn’t be upset about this. There are so many more things in the world.
   I’m not saying email from people who hate you is nice to wake up to. But upset? About this? Fuck no.

   It’s like your comment. I’m not upset by your silly tone. Just, naturally, a little annoyed. So in that case, I replied.
   In this case, of course, I should generally just delete, I suppose.

   Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 11:34 am

10. I think bitch-face would indeed be hyphenated. Unless she imagines that perhaps your surname is ‘Face’, which I suppose would then need a capital letter and make your first name ‘Bitch’. That would be odd and make introducing yourself at parties rather awkward.

    Bitch-face is an odd sort of an insult. I would have thought that ‘bitch-personality’ would be far worse, because you could have a face like a bitch but actually be really nice. You don’t have a face like a bitch, though. Or a personality like one, either, for that matter. She is wrong.

    Comment by Léonie — 2 April, 2008 11:38 am

11. I’ve worked out who it is (I think)… Never heard of them until twenty minutes ago, which makes you, Anna, responsible for spreading their delightful, precocious ‘word’. I won’t name them (so can’t share the blame).

    They sound like fun (that’s sarcasm, which doesn’t come across well in the written form).

    Comment by two left feet — 2 April, 2008 11:49 am

12. I think I know who it is too (from your ‘other’ site). If it is who I think it is they are terrible. I saw them murder a perfectly good AHA track on Dancing with the Stars. (I was channel surfing,- there was nothing else on, honest!!)

    Comment by Caroline — 2 April, 2008 12:40 pm

13. “It’s Bitch Fuh-say!”

    Comment by Pete — 2 April, 2008 12:52 pm

14. Dear bitch face. You’re bad. You’re the baddest bad ass eva. You rock. Like totally. And anyone who says you don’t is hot. But not you. You’re cool. Luv ya! x

    Comment by Brennig — 2 April, 2008 1:36 pm

15. Isn’t it slightly hypocritical to complain about whether something is hypenated or not (even in jest), when ‘wasn’t', is repeated twice in the original post and a reply to a comment here has ‘from’ repeated twice?

    Wouldn’t you be marked down for that in a GCSE exam?

    Also, she is 16 - yes, 16! Some 16 yr-olds are bright young things, who are fully aware of the errors they make. Some are not aware. When I was 16, I wasn’t able to argue a point, unless I’d be taught how to be a teacher. Do you really expect her to have the same level of experience in writing (letters, constructing decent arguments, posting blogs), as you do?

    You have stated you are “very easily hurt”. Equally so, the 16 yr-old is very easily hurt, as she’s written to you complaining about what you’ve said about a band she loves.

    For example, imagine you are 16 and have a love for, I don’t know, Mika (I’ve never actually heard anything by Mika - apologies if you do actually like him and if he’s quite good and shouldn’t be put down). Imagine someone points out that actually, it’s pop and it’s used as a test to see if a successful lobotomy has been completed - if the patient likes it, the operation was perfect. As a 16 yr-old, you might take this that you, personally, have been “dissed” for liking Mika and compared to a lobotomised individual. So, you write a letter of complaint, insulting the journalist in question, because you feel it’s already happened to you.

    Then the journalist belittles you in a reply, mocking you further.

    I really wouldn’t worry about it though, beause you have helped her toughen her skin. Maybe next time she’ll put more thought into a reply instead of simply stringing off insults, to prevent her being ridiculed.

    Either that or she likes X (whoever X is) and all hope is lost for her anyway.

    P.S. I do like your posts (Dawn Porter goes Lesbian, todays PMQs and a few others that I don’t recall the title of - I only remember Dawn Porter because I’ve decided she’s a watered down version of Claudia Winkleman). I just felt a sudden need to stick up for 16 yr-olds because I remember being a dumb one myself. Now I’m a dumb and rambling 24 yr-old.

    Comment by Stuart — 2 April, 2008 2:16 pm

16. I remember being genuinely offended back when I was in my early teens if a journalist was even slightly derogatory about any of my favourite bands of the moment. I was of course right to be offended, as the calibre and longevity of the back catalogues of the distinguished artists I would defend - EYC, Bad Boys Inc and Worlds Apart - goes to prove.

    I am quite surprised that this individual thought that ‘bitch face’ was an appropriate way to open correspondence with a stranger… that’s surely a third or fourth letter sort of thing isn’t it?

    Comment by Vicky — 2 April, 2008 2:24 pm

17. Stuart - I’m starting to warm to your theory that Mika’s music is intended as a test to show whether a lobotomy was successful.

    Comment by Pete — 2 April, 2008 2:35 pm

18. Stuart - welcome, and thanks for such a considered comment. You’re right, of course, getting at her spelling was a cheap shot that I regret a lot, actually. Though I’m not going to edit it out of the copy of the email here, obviously, because that would be unfair in not making me look as much as a snarky cow as I was, at that moment, being.

    I didn’t mean to belittle her by replying - I meant to open up that conversation on personal level, as she had done by emailing me stating her feelings - and no, I don’t expect her to have the same experience of writing things: I do, however, want her to know there’s a human at the other end of the email rather than a faceless thing she can just hurl abuse at. Young people turning into adults should know that about the internet already, of course, but it’s an important thing to remember.

    You compare our being upset. She was upset by someone not agreeing with her opinion on who was the best band on the planet. I get uspset by people thinking that personal abuse should be an acceptable tool in conversation or debate. I still don’t think that’s the same thing.

    I’m perfectly willing to get into conversation about why I disagree with her if she had seemed to have wanted to do that.

    But yes, like you, as I say, I wrote letter upon letter to the NME disputing their logic in not agreeing with me. But to the letters page, as I say, not them. And if I had written to a journalist, I probably would have started it with name calling. And if I had, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d been rude in response, because that was the level of debate I was initiating.

    And yes, you are absolutely absolutely right, I am a proper sloppy typist at that time in the morning, and, in fact, on my blog, and had little high-ground there. Thanks for pointing it out. And for saying about the PMQ thing - I was nervous about that.

    Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 2:43 pm

19. And I know exactly what I will have done. I will have double typed a word or spelt something wrong in that last comment too but I am having to do it too quickly inbetween stuff to check - so as an act of atonement to the self-righteously shouty 16-year-olds of the world I will continue not to check it, and leave it there even if I’ve spelled my own name ‘penis’.

    Told you I was feeling bad.

    Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 3:00 pm

20. Good morning Anna. Nice to see you up and about. And glad that people are reading and paying attention to what you say even if it results in negative comments. Negative comments seem to be much more enjoyable to editors.

    Comment by joeinvegas — 2 April, 2008 3:01 pm

21. Great post Anna. I also enjoyed your PMQ thing very much - I recently read your budget liveblog too. You really are very good at them. I am looking forward to reading the next Apprentice one. Hopefully you won’t feel bad for too long and shouty teenagers aren’t rude to you anymore.

    Comment by James — 2 April, 2008 3:07 pm

22. Thanks James. I start doing that more often, I’m going to have to sit down and actually find out some stuff about politics.

    Only kidding.

    Kind of.

    Comment by anna — 2 April, 2008 3:28 pm

23. You need to put waaaaaaay more lolspeak in the tweenage offering. Not to mention roughing up the grammar and spelling. Lolz innit?

    Comment by Debster — 2 April, 2008 3:53 pm

24. Silly tone? Oh dear, yet another failure of my writing gene. Still, I got to write twunt, which was my primary aim.

    I did love your reply to her, by the way.

    Comment by Damian — 2 April, 2008 3:59 pm

25. There are currently 300 comments on a particular YouTube video regarding the size of my arse. It’s awesome (and I probably won’t be reviewing fitness gadgets for a while).
    I’ve taken to not reading them, but I can see that this might be somewhat of a hindrance when your bitchfaces are replying by email. Perhaps you should start reading the subject headers through your fingers.
    I know, I’m just *too* helpful.

    Comment by Susi — 2 April, 2008 4:29 pm

26. Bitch face, that’s one I haven’t heard yet. Am I getting old? Why don’t I know this stuff? And I’m having difficulties figuring what a bitch face is…an ugly girl? Clearly she has the wrong person if that’s the case…

    Comment by Kathryn — 2 April, 2008 5:26 pm

27. Hi Anna, thanks for the reply (my comment was a bit epic, I’m sorry about that).

    You shouldn’t worry about editing out what you’ve said, as you don’t come across as a vicious Simon Cowell figure, but more likely the peeved educated person that you are, irritated that someone can’t see it’s not a personal attack, but simply stating an opinion which you’re allowed to have.

    I know I’ve personally said things far worse that are probably Googlable (is that the correct spelling?) and only regret them knowing that I get several page views (on my website) from people who just Google my name.

    You said “I do, however, want her to know there’s a human at the other end of the email rather than a faceless thing she can just hurl abuse at”, which instantly made me cringe because, sorry to bring this up again, she probably did know as she did call you “bitch face”.

    I do agree with you that she shouldn’t resort to name calling and abuse, but it’s long been a part of childhood behaviour (well, it was for me, both from my uncouth mouth and towards me).

    The other day, a group of girls, walking the same way home as me, started trying to talk to me. I decided that they were school girls who had no reason to talk to me, so ignored them. As soon as I was a few steps infront of them, the ringleader shouted “Ignorant bastard!” which I completely ignored. I thought, why should I even laugh and make it known that such behaviour gets attention?

    And what’s more, I’ve read the NME letters page a few times over the last few years and I distinctly remember one letter taking a swipe at the letter editor for his view on a certain band (it may or may not have been Shed 7).

    This comment isn’t a particularly well-structed one and all the worse for it. I’m sorry. I just wished it to be known that I feel a bit harsh on you, Anna, because in the past (and most likely in the future) you’ve entertained me. You were right to retort to her in such a fashion. I feel such a turncoat, even though I was on your side in the first place.

    Ooh, the Apprentice will be on soon!

    Comment by Stuart — 2 April, 2008 7:43 pm

28. I reckon there’s nothing wrong with being thin-skinned, it generally means that you are a caring person, and in my experience the people who tell you that you need to be thicker skinned are, well, just a bit mean. Maybe you should take it as a compliment that you write in a way that provokes people to respond. Plus the internet makes it very easy for people to send the first mean thing that pops into their head.

    Comment by Laura — 2 April, 2008 10:48 pm

29. Stuart, I don’t think that Simon Cowell is particularly vicious. He’s just dead honest. And some of his comments to American Idol hopefuls are actually constructive, if the contestants aren’t too mortified to actually listen to them. But then again, I think Simon’s sexy. And my brother calls me “Simone Cowell” because I didn’t give his debut novel a stellar review. Sheesh…

    Comment by Maria — 2 April, 2008 11:23 pm

30. “It’s Bitch Fuh-say!”
    Pete - you win a silver star for that.

    Comment by Anna F — 2 April, 2008 11:45 pm

31. The way I see it is, sixteen year olds are considered old enough to have sex, get married and have children, and most of the ones I’ve met are vaguely aware that addressing people as “bitch-face” is bad form no matter how attached they are to Whatever Band. From a tactical point of view, opening your letter with “Bitch-face” rather undermines the strength of whatever point you’re trying to make, as do basic spelling mistakes. These are all valuable lessons that everyone needs to learn before they get sacked/dumped/beaten up for being an arsehole, rather than as it is happening.

    As Anna has very considerately not printed her name or anything that might identify her the only person who knows she’s been singled out apart from Anna is the girl herself. If Anna’s response is the most cutting and humiliating thing that anyone’s ever said to her then I’d like to congratulate her on a remarkably trouble-free school career. In other words, I doubt she’s scarred for life. At the risk of sounding harsh, I hope she is (temporarily) offended, embarrassed and humiliated because these are the feelings that teach us not to behave like twats in the future.

    Comment by Katy Newton — 3 April, 2008 12:18 am

32. Maria - If honesty means mocking someone for their appearance because it’s something you dislike, then I’ve been mistaken about it’s meaning for far too long.

    Comment by Stuart — 3 April, 2008 1:44 am

33. This post and the following comments really upset me. I feel very angry. I think I might go around calling people bitch hyphen face all day in fact. . .

    I say good on you Anna. It’s because I am a mean person, but there isn’t much more I like than a well crafted smack-down.

    I hope you reminded her that there is another person on the other end of the send button and there is another way to engage with a person than saying, “Oh, yeah. You suck so shut up.”

    That said, if you respond to every hormonal and or mentally unstable person that sends you die-bitch-die telegrams. . . you aren’t going to have much time for other more pleasant things.

    Comment by Nicole — 3 April, 2008 8:15 am

34. Good for you, Anna.

    Unfortunately responding with personal abuse to someone who disagrees with your opinion isn’t limited to teenagers.

    But if you’ve even begun to teach her the difference, it was worth it.

    BTW - I’d go for the hyphen in bitch-face, if I’d ever use the term for anyone other than a female canine!

    Comment by Sharon — 3 April, 2008 2:02 pm

35. I’m glad you didn’t spell your name “penis” because that would have made me laugh, and I feel kind of sympathetically achy on your behalf in the general cardiac region, so laughing just now would feel Wrong.

    Hope the rest of your day is filled with people who are bright enough to realize you’re awesome, or polite enough to keep it to themselves if they haven’t figured that out yet.

    Comment by elayne — 3 April, 2008 4:45 pm

36. I nodded in agreement with the comments berating the use of ‘bitch face’ by someone miffed that a journalist has slagged off their favourite band, before realising that not 20 minutes earlier I’d delicious’d the BBC story about the Word mag/Morrissey apology story with the summary ‘David Quantick is a bellend’

    I guess some of us never grow out of it…

    Comment by Another Vicky — 3 April, 2008 6:33 pm

37. Silver star! Silver star! I knew that it was worth some sort of prize!

    Thanks, Anna F. You’ve perked my morning up, no end.

    Comment by Pete — 4 April, 2008 8:34 am

38. There’s no excuse for writing to a journalist and abusing them like that, at whatever age and for whatever reason. Hope things have only improved since then!

    All the best, Marianne

    Comment by Marianne — 4 April, 2008 3:22 pm

39. Dear Anna,

    Every time I read that original letter, I spot yet another grammatical error. I really ought to get a life, innit?

    And having finally realised who the modern beat combo in question are, may I just add that they suck, big hyphen time? My ears are still bleeding from the only time I heard them “perform”.

    Yours etc…

    Comment by Mr Farty — 4 April, 2008 8:20 pm

40. I think probably people are more likely to engage with the person on the page nowadays. They are less likely to write to the letters page. This is probably because people are more likely to make their e-mail address publicly available so people know where to direct this to. I quite like the meritocracy of it all, you know people not feeling someone if superior for being a politician, on the tele, in a newspaper column. Conversely I don’t like the fact that everyone wants to have a go. “My opinions are just as important as yours.” which they probably aren’t or they’d be in print. Still that’s probably the fault of blogging.

    When people you don’t know write to you they are actually writing *at* you they can decide in their mind that you are crap because you are just words on a page. If they ever got in a room with you they would have to be nicer. Human nature and all.

    Still you have my sympathy. No one likes to be pwned in text speak.

    Comment by Yellow — 5 April, 2008 9:44 pm

41. There’s nothing wrong with Mika. Shed 7 is disposable, like most pop music, though not entirely unpalatable. I think bitch face should be neither hyphenated nor one word. It’s great! Having read this post a couple of days ago, my inner monologue was actually referring to a blonde woman in Canary Wharf as a bitch face on my journey to work. The cheeky, miserable cow was trying to race ahead of me up the escalators as we got off the Jubilee Line. Finally, having beat her to the ticket barrier my thought was, “I have to stay ahead of bitch face back there.”

    Thank you for this post. I will be using bitch face more in the future. It’s deliciously childish.

    Comment by Dan — 6 April, 2008 5:33 pm

42. “… even if I’ve spelled my own name ‘penis’.”

    HA!

    It’s statements like that that keep me coming back.

    Comment by Dawn — 6 April, 2008 10:06 pm

43. Anna,
    I understand your reaction, I really do, especially from little brats like that who think they are all-worldly and understand everything about life. At the end of the day, it is simply best to let the comment roll off your back. She’ll grow out of it, or have her musical tastes opened up at some point. I was a pop/rock kind of guy until my senior year in high school, and after hearing Steely Dan’s “Aja,” and Weather Report’s “Heavy Weather,” when they came out in 1977, everything changed…..

    I’ll be honest though: I LOVED the sarcasm directed at her spelling…..A little zinger sometimes is not a bad thing…..

    Comment by a usual suspect — 8 April, 2008 11:13 am

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