I’m still not completely sure what Facebook is for, though it does certainly fulfil the ‘being easily stalked’ and ‘making one feel a bit old’ criterion that were suggested whenI asked about it a couple of months ago…
Namely this:
I found a Facebook group relating to my dreadful West London secondary school, for example. I read a thread of comments about the teachers at the school. I added to it. I recieved a comment responding to my comment.
“Hahahahaha, that’s MENTLE! That must have been Such A Long Time AGO!”
Or something like.
To which my immediate response was of course
“Ha ha ha! Yeah! Actually, it wasn’t a long time ago at all, really! It was only 1992!”
At which point I realised that the person I was responding to probably hadn’t started school - nursery school - at that point yet, so yes, it probably was quite a long time ago after all.
______
I have been repeating this story to people over the last few weeks, in the shameless hope that they’d say ‘No, you’re absolutely right, Anna, it’s barely last week, 1992!‘, but they haven’t.
They’ve said less helpful things. Like ‘WHAT?’ And ‘No, not REALLY? Was that Allowed? Even THEN?’
When all I’d told them was the simple story of our annual school musicals. There is nothing special in the news that not that many young boys in medium-rough inner city London state schools are that interested in demonstrating their skill in the arts of musical theatre - so I don’t think that can be what they were shocked at.
And what else were they going to do, in that case, but draft in the male teaching staff to play the parts the boys did not want to play?
Which I suppose would have been fine if we’d stuck to the safer fare, like Oliver, and Annie, and all those safe asexual shows, but we were more ambitious.
So the year I took took the lead in Guys and Dolls (see how I just dropped that in there? Subtle. Subtle like a fox, that’s me), my romantic lead was also my PE teacher. I had to snog him. Several times.
Did I have a problem with this at the time?
Well, yes, of course I did.
The amount that I bunked off PE meant that this was a very embarrassing casting for me indeed. I mean, he barely recognised me, but you could tell that he thought he should have been able to.
It wasn’t just me, of course. One of my best friends at the time had to snog the other PE teacher (PE teachers and musical, eh? Who woulda thunk it?). Several other skimpily dressed dancers (pupils) were groped (and that) by gangsters, who otherwise taught them French, Maths, History etc.
wrong.
Now I’m explaining this all again, I can see how it might be considered, well, a little wrong.
I mean, you can get in trouble now if you’re a teacher for just patting someone on the head, can’t you?
You certainly couldn’t have shared a small darkened backstage area with a pupil of the opposite sex without four chaperones and a signed consent form from eight members of the student’s family, in triplicate.
You probably couldn’t even SAY ’small darkened backstage area’ without getting sued for something…
And there we were, up on stage, pretending to be lovers, acting like equals, singing, and everything.
I know this was 1992, but how on EARTH did they get away with having us doing that?
Kissing, and canoodling, what would now be considered basically putting on an annual live pupil-teacher sex show right there in the assembly hall (over a run of four nights, concessions for unemployed and under-16s) - My God! How did we cope?
Well, I suppose the shock might not have kicked in yet. What with it being two weeks ago and that.
______________________
Still, all joking aside, and looking back at the idea. Well, it does seem a little tiny weeny bit wrong, doesn’t it?
Even if it WAS a long long time ago…
Tongues?
Comment by Salvadore Vincent — 17 June, 2007 11:10 pm
Yes, how else do you think I got through to the last round of auditions?
Comment by anna — 17 June, 2007 11:17 pm
If there was so many snogging and groping opportunities available, how come so few boys wanted to be in the production? Did word not get around? Methinks the PE teachers could have drummed up interest in the rehearsals a bit more (*if they’d wanted to*).
Comment by William T — 17 June, 2007 11:17 pm
well, even though I was only 6 in 1992, and am part of facebook’s target audience, 1992 doesn’t seem like THAT long ago, even to me.
But I do have a stellar memory, so maybe that’s got something to do with it.
Oh, I’ve burnt the cake…
Comment by anna* *the american one — 17 June, 2007 11:38 pm
……Jesus!
I had no idea that sort of thing had ever been allowed in schools. Makes you wonder how we ever ended up with a teacher shortage really….
For the record, I started primary school in 1991, so I was at least in the system at the same time as you, even if not in quite the same part.
Comment by Ignorminious — 17 June, 2007 11:46 pm
I just read ur norm blog profile “ppl who eat apples in bus shud DIE” OMG. Thats harsh. I once ate a sandwich, does that count, I was very hungry :)
Comment by Rushi — 18 June, 2007 12:19 am
oh my, oh my.
I have to admit that 1992 does not sound like that long ago to me…and also to admit that never in a thousand years would this kind of thing been allowed in my school.
This kind of thing only went on in classrooms and the gym, not on a real stage (we didn’t have a proper auditorium). for shame, anna! ;-)
Comment by Teri — 18 June, 2007 12:29 am
Isn’t it still 1992 then?
Comment by Lionel — 18 June, 2007 12:34 am
Jeez, thanks a bunch! I was out of school *a year* in 1992. Who’s feeling the old hag now eh? Well, not the PE teacher… Thank God! that never happened at our school; being groped by any of that ugly lot just would’ve given me even *more* issues from High School! *shudder*
Now, where’s my zimmer-frame…?
Comment by eleanor bloom — 18 June, 2007 3:01 am
1992 was last week.
I am having great difficulty understanding why the boys in your school weren’t interested in musical theatre. It was top of the list at ours for getting out of class. Boys who made the cast list were babe magnets. Perhaps it was all engineered by the PE teachers–you know, a little word here, a veiled threat there and suddenly the boys lost all interest in snogging.
Comment by asta — 18 June, 2007 4:04 am
‘92 was my last year of school. It was a long time ago. Weeps.
Facebook is like blogging, it’s for whatever you want it to be for. Plus stalking. I mainly use it for event organising.
I once got asked to the movie by a teacher. God I regret turning her down, because I liked another girl. It never did work with the other girl. Miss Donaldson was her name. The teacher that is not the other girl. I wish I could remember her first name. I wonder if I knew it.
Comment by Adrian — 18 June, 2007 9:03 am
Now…1992! Top album.
Comment by Amy — 18 June, 2007 9:44 am
Well, did it lead to anything offstage for any of you? If not, it was innocent and harmless. It couldn’t happen now because once it is pointed out that it might be dodgy, it becomes dodgy.
1992, blimey, I was still in my 30s then.
Comment by z — 18 June, 2007 9:52 am
I have heard quite a few stories in my time about people snogging (and more) their PE teachers. But with an audience?
No Anna, it is not indicative of your age, but did you perhaps go to a school run by a breakaway religious sect by any chance?
Facebook is not just for children, but beware being stalked - you do not HAVE to accept invitations of ‘friendship’ just because you receive them.
Comment by Amazed — 18 June, 2007 9:56 am
Hee - but PE teachers were normally the fit ones! So good for you :-)
In my school, the teachers normally did take part in plays but never opposite us… which is a shame, as our PE teachers were pretty damn cute.
A friend of mine’s set his status to “X is feeling bad about the number of people hes’s trying to avoid on Facebook”. (He’s 29. It’s not just for kids.)
Comment by Rachel — 18 June, 2007 11:25 am
PE teachers cute?! Yuk! PE teachers were always stupid, horrible, bullying, ugly, ignorant and utterly uninterested in anything creative. And Geography teachers. For some reason, PE teachers also taught Geography, and vice versa - hence Geog teachers were similarly horrible and Geography was the only subject I really hated.
And 1992 was just last Saturday. And I had graduated from Uni in 1992, never mind school…
I have no idea whether anything like that would have happened at my school. I don’t remember child abuse being a thing that anyone was aware of, so I’m sure it could have happened. I do remember that there were several rumours of 6th form girls having affairs with teachers, and in one case she got pregnant and they set up home together. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me, as when I was 16 I had an affair with a 21-yr-old and loved him desperately and spent every other weekend at his flat in Sheffield.
But yes, you’re right. It does sound utterly wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Did you ever get the feeling that your PE teacher might have liked the snogging to continue in an extra-curricular way? Did he invite you to any private rehearsals?
Comment by Clare — 18 June, 2007 11:49 am
Similar things were going on at my school about then too. Although the main cast members of our King and I were pupils (I was right at the back singing [with actions] about Uncle Tom’s Cabin), I think Anna had to dance with the headmaster at one point.
Comment by FB — 18 June, 2007 12:06 pm
Wrong. Of course it’s wrong. It’s wrong that the boys at your school weren’t interested in a bit of licenced groping and snogging in front of teachers who, instead of saying, “You two - stop that please - it’s an EXAM!” would actually be saying, “Sorry, it still doesn’t look right, could you run through again, and this time move your hands more.
Picture the announcement of the annual play at my school - an all boys school in Sydney.
“Gentlemen we’re staging Othello this year. Who would be interested in auditioning?”
* a room full of boys resolutely fails to put its hands up. *
“It will be a joint production. Desdemona and the other female roles will be played by the girls from Loreto Kirribilli.”
* 180 hands shoot into the air *
(Yes, I know that of the 180 in the form, statistics would tell us that 18 of us were gay - but nine hadn’t worked it out yet, and the other nine were thiking ‘Theatre - faaabulous!’)
Comment by Damian — 18 June, 2007 1:53 pm
I was in ‘The Beggar’s Opera’ at sixth form, and my on-stage lover was played by a teacher (can’t remember what he taught but think it wasn’t PE) and as I was playing a whore to his pimp we did have to get a bit physical, which was fine, until he started groping my arse between scenes. Then I complained…
Comment by Lazy Perfectionista — 18 June, 2007 1:53 pm
Of course that was the class of 1988 - and four years is a lifetime in school years.
Comment by Damian — 18 June, 2007 1:54 pm
It definitely sounds a bit dodge. But anywho. You’re alright, aren’t you?
Comment by Kathryn — 18 June, 2007 3:55 pm
Aye, Kathryn, I’m grand.
That’s the funny thing, isn’t it though, because someone else said ‘child abuse’ above, and I suddenly thought - hang on! Oh nononono! - and that’s just the thing. It *seems* a bit dodge now, but at the time not so much. Or at all, really.
I think we all thought of it more in terms of pantomime, I suppose.
Anyway, I would much rather have been kissing the French teacher. At least I went to his classes.
Comment by anna — 18 June, 2007 4:56 pm
As a new facebook member I agree entirely that it immediately makes you feel old.
Secondly, as a teacher (sort of) I can actually confirm that you actually need 6 chaperones (3 of each sex) and triplicate signatures of 4 family members (no creepy uncles).
Finally, although I like to think 1992 was only a little while ago (grunge et al), I have the daily reminder that it wasn’t when I teach people born in the year 2000!
Comment by Dury — 18 June, 2007 5:09 pm
Hang on Anna, you’ve just turned 30, which means in 1992, you were 15. 16, at best. This story is wrong on SO many levels.
Rather more scarily, in 1992 I was giving birth to my first child. He is now old enough to snog girls in school productions, but thinks girls are disgusting. As far as I know, he is not snogging teachers. I will check.
Comment by HFactor — 18 June, 2007 8:14 pm
Wow! That seems a bit creepy! ….But, back in 1981-2 (yes EIGHTY one and two) I had a gorgeous chemistry teacher. All the girls were madly in love with him. (It was around the same time the Police came out with “Don’t Stand So Close to Me,” which was very aprapos.) During the year, we moved on to a particularly challanging chapter in chemistry, and he wanted us all to understand it thoroughly before we moved onto the next step, or we’d be utterly lost. He offered to stay after school with anyone who needed help. I was a straight-A student. I understood it perfectly. But I feigned stupidity just for a chance to spend time with him after school, preferably one-on-one. After school, about half of the girls in chemistry class showed up for “tutoring!” A couple of dummies and a lot more brainy girls with raging 14 year old hormones!
Comment by Maria — 18 June, 2007 9:26 pm
Oh my gosh, I just remembered his name! My gorgeous chemistry teacher’s name was Mr. Thorley, and he taught at King Edmund’s School in Yate, near Bristol. Well, 1982 WAS just last week, right?
Comment by Maria — 18 June, 2007 9:54 pm
You’re only old if:
1) You shudder at the thought that some people born in the ’90s hold a full British driving licence.
2) You don’t believe that anyone could have a child starting primary school this autumn without something illegal happening in relation to the age of consent.
Yes, both those thoughts scare me.
Comment by JJ — 18 June, 2007 11:06 pm
Damian, there were 180 kids in your form??
Comment by Clare — 19 June, 2007 10:30 am
That’s wronger than a wrong thing. Really.
Even for 1992
Comment by LondonGirl — 19 June, 2007 10:34 am
Yep, six homerooms with thirty in each. 1200 in the school, from Yr 5 up to Yr 12. (Only two classes each of Yrs 5 and 6, for anyone checking my maths.)
One of the ones who went, “Theatre - faabulous” is now a TV producer. His alter-ego - Verushka Darling (a drag queen) hosted Verushka’s Closet, the highest rating show on Australian MTV for two years (higher ratings, even, than The Osbornes). I love telling people that we used to be in the same rowing crew, and both played full-back on the same soccer team. The first time I heard Neneh Cherry was his six-week long party, over the summer after we left school. She only started getting radio airplay about 20 months later.
Comment by Damian — 19 June, 2007 1:24 pm
Amazingly wrong. Illegal, here in the states — said teacher would’ve been fired, along with any superior staff who had knowledge of the event and didn’t stop it.
High school teachers do not “snog” students; period.
(Well, they do, but they are not SUPPOSED to!)
We are talking about an adult teacher and a minor high-school student, right? If the play was in college, with adult students, then it’s falls quickly down to just “way-weird…”
(And that, in itself, is a teeny-bit weird. But not too bad, for reasons that are weird…)
Btw, to the original question: it’s both. 1992 is both “only yesterday” and “oh, so very long ago.” Since you grok the only yesterday idea, here’s a hint on the long ago side: There was no such thing as cell phones in 1992, that’s how long ago it was.
People born in 1992 can drive, now.
Comment by olie — 19 June, 2007 6:47 pm
Olie you’re mean.
‘People born in 1992 can drive now.’
Not here they can’t, thank fuck. Will be truly old when they can.
Comment by anna — 19 June, 2007 6:51 pm
Damian, I don’t know where you’re from or what kind of school you went to… but we clearly have a terminology discrepancy going on.
Where I’m from a “form” is a class, or in your terminology (I’m guessing), a “homeroom”. I think what you are calling “form” is what I would call a “year”.
So basically I thought you were saying you had 180 kids in your homeroom, which would have been, er, a trifle crowded…
Comment by Clare — 19 June, 2007 11:19 pm
Having said that, I’ve just realised “fourth form” and “sixth form” refer to whole years, and I’m now beginning to wonder whether I’ve just spent my whole life misunderstanding what a form was. Surely in Mallory Towers a form was a class?
[confused]
[again]
Comment by Clare — 19 June, 2007 11:20 pm
(sorry anna)
(i’ll shut up now, i promise)
(i’m not being high maintenance, honest)
(no intervention required)
Comment by Clare — 19 June, 2007 11:21 pm
Well, right, when I was at school, our drama teacher was Ann Bancroft. Well, when I say teacher, she was doing supply.
We did a stage production of Nine Songs!! She taught me so much about about comic timing.
Many of my girlfriends still end up in tucks of laughter at the crucial moment.
It’s a gift and a curse.
Comment by Clive For Nothing — 19 June, 2007 11:58 pm
In our school the PE teachers were sadists, they would send you on cross-country runs and then climb in the car and drive along beside you yelling encouragement. Bad times.
And it was a boys-only school. But the musical (The Mikadooo in 1975) was co-presented with - gasp! - three little maids from a girls-only school. Who were very popular with the boys. Good times.
1992 is so last millenium. *ahem*
Comment by Mr Farty — 19 June, 2007 11:59 pm
Hey, what happened to the subsequent post? Are the vampires off snogging the PE teachers or what? Just curious, of course.
Comment by xl — 20 June, 2007 3:25 am
I think, xl, that the vamps may be off doing their nocturnal ravagings of Winona Ryder (be still my heart!). It’s approaching the solstice up here and they must soon be back in their lead-lined box.
Comment by Konnie Huxtable Global — 20 June, 2007 8:50 am
They did have cellphones in 1992 - I remember borrowing my dad’s car and finding the cellphone in the gap under the armrest.
I tried to make a call, but the weight of the thing nearly took my arm off.
Clare, yes, I’m talking about the year.
Comment by Damian — 20 June, 2007 1:37 pm
Damian, you crack me up.
Comment by Kathryn — 20 June, 2007 2:39 pm
Did you know that the school had been demolished?
Very sad.
Comment by John Mac — 20 June, 2007 6:51 pm
How old are Brits before they drive? Here (USA) it’s 15 to learn, 16 for “on your own.” Oh. Hmmm… Ok, I guess most 1992-ers can’t QUITE drive, yet. Soon! (And us old guys from the ’50s can’t subtract, either. )
Weren’t cell-phones 1994? Whatever. You get the idea.
Comment by olie — 20 June, 2007 10:59 pm
Erm, I was about to graduate high school in 1992. I am a proud(ish) member of the graduating class of 1993.
So does that make me very VERY old indeed?!
Comment by Lady Miss Marquise — 28 June, 2007 11:45 pm
Hi Damian,
It’s Verushka Darling here…your old rowing and soccer team member. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon your reference to me when reading this blog. The world is small.
I’m very chuffed to be able to give you a chuckle about my career transformation…Just to update you. “Verushka’s Closet” ran for four very successful years, and I then went on to become an MTV / VH1 promo-producer, copywriter, and Major Award show scriptwriter.
Now it’s my turn to tell an amusing story about you, and stumbling upon your post.
I hope that you’re very happy and well.
I also hope that you see this post.
Take care
V
Comment by Verushka Darling — 29 July, 2007 5:13 pm
Veruska - look who’s been googling herself! Come over to http://www.ouralbion.com and leave you can send me a proper email via the contact me link in the profile.
Comment by Damian — 30 July, 2007 11:04 pm