Thank you

For reading this drivel and, sometimes, for commenting on it.
Thank you for linking to my site, thank you for saying nice stuff about me.
Thank you for coming back, even when I go away, thank you for sending e-mail asking if I’m ok.

I’m fine, really.
The sun is shining, I have stuff lined up from here to the back of beyond and I’m in love with the most perfect man that ever was (for me, in any case).

Today, I have decided that I have gained weight in my nose, and have a fat nose.
I have no idea what specific exercises or diets will change this.
I’ll work on that while I’m away.

I’m going away.

I’ve got some big big big things to do, like two weeks at the Edinburgh Festival with the review team of a newspaper, lots of smiling, networking, and sucking up, then five weeks in rehearsal with a Glasgow theatre company. And then writing up of my dissertation, applying for jobs, moving house to another a long long long way away and, well, the plan is this;

I’ll come back.
But in the meantime, between being here and coming back, I’m going away.

If anyone wants to know what I’m doing and how it’s all going (for example any friends that read this rather than phone me… and anyone else for that matter) I’ve set up a Yahoo group;

http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/littleredwibblingdinghy/

which anyone is free to join, and I’ll try and send e-mail through that at least once a week, if I can.
If any friends are wondering why I don’t answer your text messages, my phone is *ahem* poorly, e-mail me for my number…

So, elsewhere, well…
It’s mainly because I’m going to be doing work related stuff, and I’ve never liked talking about it on here, but for this time it’ll be all I’ll have to talk about…

And then I’ll come back, honest I will.

Because I love my little red boat.

But there’s too much outside to be inside right now.

14 differences between inside and outside

1. Although not exclusively for those with animals, small children or old incontinent relatives, stepping in poo is generally an outdoor activity.
2. You are unlikely to be hit by a bus inside, unless you are inside a bus terminal.
3. How much outside is available depends on where you are. There is more outside in London or Manchester, for example, than Glasgow.
   The Lake District is mainly outside.
   As is Iowa.
4. Outside has no carpets, but more cows.
   This is sensible.
   Cow Pats are very hard to remove from carpets.
   As are Cows.
5. Tans are outside, fake tans are inside, and fake tans make your toes go tangerine.
6. Although it’s possible to take a shower outside, fountains and such, it involves, y’know, being nekkid, and although that may be fine with you, sir, it may not be with everyone else.
   It’s droopy and we don’t need to see it.
7. Pets can be taken for walks outside, apart from goldfish, which can’t.
   Goldfish need to be taken for walks inside.
   Although this will still make them die.
   Then you can cook them.
8. Sneezes are outside.
   Apart from dust sneezes, which are inside.
9. Omlettes are inside.
   Although it is possible to cook some foods outside, on a barbeque, it is not possible to cook omlettes on a barbeque, as they keep slipping through the grill bits. They also fall off kebab skewers, being raw egg and gloopy, not solid.
10. With the use of a spade, or maybe a spoon, it is possible to move outside inside.
    However, once inside outside is inside not outside just as inside outside is outside not inside.
11. Very few things are both outside and inside simultaneously.
    Things that are include planes and jockstraps.
12. Computers are inside.
13. The rest of the world is outside.

Clear?

petty (adjective satellite) -

1. contemptibly narrow in outlook
“petty little comments”; “disgusted with their small-minded pettiness”
Synonyms: small-minded

2. (informal terms) small and of little importance
“a fiddling sum of money”; “a footling gesture”; “our worries are lilliputian compared with those of countries that are at war”; “a little (or small) matter”; “Mickey Mouse regulations”; “a dispute over niggling details”; “limited to petty enterprises”; “piffling efforts”; “giving a police officer a free meal may be against the law, but it seems to be a picayune infraction”
Synonyms: fiddling, footling, lilliputian, little, Mickey Mouse, niggling, piddling, piffling, picayune, trivial

3. inferior in rank or status
“the junior faculty”; “a lowly corporal”; “petty officialdom”; “a subordinate functionary”
Synonyms: junior-grade, inferior, lower, lower-ranking, lowly, secondary, subaltern, subordinate

After nine and a half months gestation

We finally won the quiz tonight!

We Won! We won we won we won we won we won we won we won!
And it feels good, I tell you.

I never realised how much losing people bitch though;
at one point I could here hear the second-placed team of bespectacled young men whinging on the othre other side of the room, saying that they’d got something right and we hadn’t, or that we were cheating, or that the whole thing was fixed, or that…. oh, something.

It took every muscle in my body to stop myself jumping on the bench and shouting;-
“Hey! Suck my tits geekboy, we’re winning, deal with it!”

And I managed not to.
Although now I wish I had.

It would have been better than the thing I actually *did* shout.
But then, in some cultures I’m sure that
‘oooooOOOOOooooo, Get her!‘
is acknowledged as the classic putdown and Wildean wit it really is.

Or maybe not.
Still, what do they know.
Not clever?
Limited Vocabulary?

oooooooOOOOOOOOOooooo….

R!

Hahahahahahahaha

(via p-mad)

It’s Monday, and I’m bored

Does anyone want to play Truth or Dare?

a CHUF

Another day, another exploding face.
The good thing about spending all weekend tidying my bedroom is that I have a tidy bedroom.
The bad thing is that I’ve disturbed the dust of ages (and ages and ages and ages)
which is causing my head to stuff up and nose to explode.

And then, to get away from it, I accept an invitation to spend the afternoon sitting in the botanic gardens.

I’ve got snot.

If anyone wants any,
I’ve snot to spare.

Ask Anna - Etiquette in a modern world

‘deeear anna,

He wants to, but I’m not sure we should, should we?’

Yes.

You lucky bitch.

Something everyone else has probably already seen a billion times

I found this today, and was really very moved by it,
photos of family weddings and people showing of their new sofa,
perhaps it was because I spent all day putting photos of family and friends into albums, and the poses and expressions seemed familiar.

It’s just an interesting way of thinking about the people of Baghdad.
The project too is an extremely interesting one.
Just recommended, that’s all.

(via the lovely lisa)

A poem that I love by someone else

A glass of water

Here is a glass of water from my well.
It tastes of rock and root and earth and rain;
It is the best I have, my only spell,
And it is cold, and better than champagne.

Perhaps someone will pass this house one day
To drink, and be restored, and go his way,
Someone in dark confusion as I was
When I drank down cold water in a glass,

Drank a transparent health to keep me sane,
After the bitter mood had gone again.

-May Sarton

Ask Anna - Etiquette in a modern world

‘Dear Miss Anna,

How long should one wait?’

I’m assuming we’re not talking about buses here, we’re talking about boys, aren’t we?
How long should you wait for a boy?
Well, it depends.
If you were supposed to meet him at a certain time, then waiting 20 minutes beyond that time, or 25 minutes perhaps, would seem fair.
You’ve shown willing, but also shown you’re not to be meddled with.
Good for you.

If however, he says he’s just popping off to the bathroom, I would recommend waiting at least an hour.
Listen to your mother on this one.
Boys like toilets and can spend a long time in there if they’re enjoying themselves sufficiently.

Personally, of course, I have the concentration span of a gnat, so waiting isn’t really a happy option for me.
It’s one of the main reasons I carry a book about, so that if anyone disappears off to the bar or the bathroom I’ve immediately got something to do.

I think the fear is that if I didn’t provide myself with some activity I’d probably tire of waiting, lose my concentration, think of something else I could be doing and wander off.
Which isn’t terribly good on dates.

Here, however, I’m waiting.

I’m in that place between deciding that great things are happening and that my whole life is about to change, and those things actually starting, or happening, and having to wait until they do.

Therefore all the jobs low down the list are getting done today, photos are being put in albums, CDs sorted and uploaded onto the pooter, papers categorised and boxed, clothes mended, laundry done, shelves rearranged, keyboard cleaned. Really.

And I *hate* waiting.
Yes, It’s only three weeks til my job at the Festival starts, but that’s three weeks of waiting, and it’s two weeks til I entertain my young man, but that’s two weeks of waiting, and it’s three months til I move house, but that’s…

God, that’s three…

I think I may die.

Waiting.
My Arse.
Life is too big for this little to be happening.

He likes me after all

The cat came back.

Ask Anna - Etiquette in a modern world

Our first letter in the series comes from a Mr Yonesson of Hammerfest, Gloucestershire;

“Dear Anna,

In this world of shifting moral standards, how can on hold a truly chaste courtship?”

Well, try living 568 miles apart.
It works wonders, or so I’ve been told.
Unless one of you happens to have Mr Tickle arms, or an Inspector Gadget Penis.
In which case temptation can become quite strong.
Resist, my boy.
It’s good for you.

ARGH

arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!